My beloved grandparents,
I can remember being a little girl and looking at pictures of you for hours, dreaming about who you were. I endlessly imagined every intricate detail: what your voice sounded like, the way that you laughed, your favorite things… the list went on and on. As a child I struggled to understand why you were taken from us so soon. I can remember listening to my friends at school talk about spending time with their grandpas and it always made me feel so very sad. It just didn’t seem fair to me that they still had at least one grandfather, yet I had lost both of you when I was only a few years old. Being that 18 years have passed, there are a few things that I want you to know.
First of all, I want to thank you for loving me. I know we didn’t get to spend very much time together, but I’m sure you treasured every moment, as did I. I also want to thank you for being wonderful; someone who gave my family so many amazing stories to tell me about you. I could probably recite most of those stories from hearing them so much, and I’m okay with that. Since I was so young when you passed away, I was left with no memories, only pictures and secondhand stories. I cling to these things, because they are the only things I have to connect me to you.
It was hard growing up and acknowledging the milestones in my life that you would never get to witness. From birthdays and holidays all the way up to the big things such as my high school graduation, there was always a solemnness surrounding these events as I longed for your presence. I would give anything for you to be there at my college graduation, and even at my wedding, and I know that even though these events will be some of the most significant days of my life, they will also leave me with utter sadness, knowing that you won’t be there to celebrate with me.
Most importantly, I want to say that I hope you are proud of me. I can only imagine what wishes and dreams you had for me when you held me in your arms when I was only a baby. I hope that when you look down on me now, I’ve become a person that you are proud to call your granddaughter. I hope that my present self corresponds with what dreams you had for my life, and that I’ve become the person that you always believed I would be.
Lastly, I want you to know that I think of you everyday, and not a second goes by that I don’t wish that you were still here. I’ve grown so much since the last time you saw me, but one thing hasn’t changed: I still love you with my entire being. Even though I understand the world a little more than I did as a child, I still cannot comprehend why you were taken from me so soon, because it isn’t fair and it never will be. I still cling to pictures of you, and I still dream of what you were like. It breaks my heart to know that I will never remember what it’s like to have a grandfather, and the fact that you exist not in my memory, but only in my imagination.
I love you forever,
Your Grandaughter
