Dear God,
I am not a Christian because I’m strong and have it all together. I am a Christian because I’m weak and admit I need a savior. I am a broken human being. I am a scarred body composed of mistakes and desperation. I can fool anyone I choose, anyone but You. I have cried alone at night, You have seen me. I have thought terrible things inside my mind for no one to know, but You. I have made mistakes I am ashamed of, You know every one of them.
I have hidden. I have hidden behind surface-level prayer and half-heard church sermons, behind broken guitar chords and words I didn’t write. You see me still. You see the organic and broken version of me. You see me as a girl who wants people to like her. You see a girl confused but hopeful. You see a girl reaching for You but only halfway, and You love me anyway.
You have heard me lie and cast insults. You have felt me pull away from Your love. You have watched me take the wrong path. You have watched me be angry with You, but You still love me. You still love the girl who is like a broken mirror, not wanting to see the dirty, imperfect and faulted reflection. You still love the girl who wears cloak of sin. You still love me because to You I am a masterpiece.
I pray to hear Your voice, but You are so quiet. You don’t beg for me; You don’t raise Your voice. You only whisper. You are patient. You are kind. You lift my chin until my teary eyes meet Yours. You don’t raise a fist at me. You don’t furl your brow. You don’t ever turn away from me, even when I feel like a big disappointment.
You are good. You are pure. You are my God. You forgive me. Surrounded by Your love, I am beautiful again. Always standing over my shoulder, You protect me. I am Your child. I don’t know why You love me, but I am forever humbled by Your grace. I love You God!
I will continue to praise you through the storms and lift you even higher in the sun! I will devote my heart and my life to you. I will fall a time or two, but You will be there to help me back up. God, I thank You for all that You do. You have my heart, and I believe in all that You are!
Love,
Your ever thankful disciple.
“The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation.”- Psalm 91: 14-16
