Dear Potential New Member,

I know who you are. I can tell by the fake smile you’re wearing after opening your bid card. I can tell that you’re trying to look excited and chime in how you couldn’t be happier, but you definitely could be. I can tell you got dropped from a sorority you wanted a bid from.

For some reason you weren’t good enough for the chapter you wanted. Maybe your curls fell out, or you didn’t have enough in common with the sister who you talked to, but whatever happened, it prevented you from getting into the house where you felt at home. And now you sit here with a bid card to a sorority you don’t necessarily want to be in. I know you feel hurt and unwanted and not good enough, so I’m not going to lecture how “everything happens for a reason” and that “the system always works out,” I’m just going to let you in on a little secret ...

We’re all the same.

Despite the houses and the tiers and the symbols and the throw what you knows, we are all in sororities. It doesn’t matter if you throw up angel wings or diamonds. It doesn’t matter if you’re a squirrel or turtle or dove. It doesn’t matter if your symbol is an anchor or a skull. It doesn’t matter because being in Greek life means that you are in a sorority, despite the letters.

Sororities give you an experience you cannot gain otherwise, and I hope everyone can find their home in whatever chapter they receive a bid from. In just a year, I have made most of my favorite college memories with my sisters. I have met my best friends, I have been to each date party, formal and social, and I have over 100 sisters to turn to at any time. I feel at home at my chapter, and I can’t see myself anywhere else. However, if I didn’t receive a bid from my chapter (which I didn’t immediately want to be in), I would gain everything I have at a different house.

The thing is, sisterhood isn’t found in the house with the biggest bedrooms or because you have the same major as an active. Sisterhood isn’t found in the girls who had the best preference night speeches or the chapter who won Greek Week last year. Sisterhood is so much more than what meets the eye.

Sisterhood is reminiscing with the girls in your pledge class over how awkward your first bid day was as you stand waiting to welcome new members. Sisterhood is laughing with your best friends over how ridiculous you look for your themed '90s social. Sisterhood is sitting with a friend as she cries and feeling comfort in the fact that you know that she would do the same for you.

Sisterhood doesn’t start during recruitment, it starts when you join a sorority. Any sorority. What you gain is deeper than a perfectly decorated house, a welcome day video of sisters blowing glitter or a conversation concerning similar interests. The truth is, you won’t understand you belong where you do until you accept a bid.

Although you may not see it yet, the sisters that accepted you do. The popular quote “From the outside looking in, you can never understand it; from the inside looking out, you can never explain it,” perfectly explains this. As cliché as it might sound, the sorority you got a bid from saw something in you. Maybe you didn’t, but a sister noticed that you represented their values or that their best friend would be your perfect big. Whatever it was, they want you, and think you would be a good addition to their sisterhood. I understand you’re upset and you’re wondering why you weren’t a good fit in the chapter you wanted, but I promise if you give the house you received a bid from a chance you’ll see why it worked out the way it did.

Take that bid card and actually smile. Truthfully, tell everyone how excited you are that you found a sisterhood. Run to your new home into welcoming arms, and I promise, it will be the best decision you’ll make, even if it wasn’t your first choice. Soon enough you’ll find out why you were chosen, and you wouldn’t want it any other way. In all honestly, congratulations. Congratulations on surviving a week of recruitment, congratulations on going through a scary process, but most of all, congratulations on finding your home.

Love,
An Active Sister Who Was In Your Shoes Last Year