First things first, you are not the only one. We have all been hurt by someone. While the degree of hurt may vary from person to person, at the end of the day it's still hurt. It may have been a boy who promised forever and always or a boy who lied and cheated. But I’ll let you in on a secret, you are so much more than that hurt.

At first it may seem like the pain will never go away and that it’ll be something that you will carry for the rest of your life. Only one of those things is true: you will carry that pain with you for the rest of your life. However, slowly over time the pain will lessen and you will learn from it. That pain will become something that fuels your growth. That pain will become one of the greatest lessons a girl could learn. From this pain you’ll realize something: you are worth a heck of a lot more than how that stupid boy treated you.

Initially after the pain, you might blame yourself and ask “what could I have done differently?” But here’s another secret: you are in no way shape or form to blame for his actions. The boy who lied to you and used you, he’s the one to blame. You didn’t twist his arm and say lie to me, you didn’t do anything to make him treat you so poorly. Someone who claims to love you will make you his priority and will always treat you with respect. No one ever deserves to be disrespected and made to think that they are not loved. You are loved by so many and you will love again

So take the hurt and pain that he caused you and turn it into something wonderful. Take the time to reflect on yourself. Learn how to better love yourself and be okay with being single. It is in this time that you will see what you truly want in a guy. Take time for yourself but don’t ever close your mind or heart to another relationship.

I urge you to not let that pain prevent you from feeling something great again. It may not feel like you could ever open yourself up to another person like that again. But when the time is right, it will happen. I won’t lie, opening yourself up to someone new will be scary and it won’t be easy. There will probably be times in which you compare your new man to the boy who hurt you, AND THAT IS OKAY! Despite all the hurt, you can’t ignore the good times and emotions you felt for him. So don’t beat yourself up for thinking about the boy who hurt you, it's only natural to think back to what you think was a great time.

But the most important thing to keep in mind is that there is someone better out there waiting for you. So don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and let someone new in. One thing I can promise you is that opening yourself back up to others is worth it. You are going to find a man who looks at you like Nathan looks at Haley or Chuck looks at Blair.

Your happily-ever-after is waiting out there for you, so don’t you dare let the boy who hurt you stop you from getting what you deserve.

Love,

A girl who's been hurt too.