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An Open Letter To The Girl Who Has Given Up On Herself

It's a bad day, my love, but it is not a bad life.

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An Open Letter To The Girl Who Has Given Up On Herself
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To whom it may concern:

Your homework is piling up. Your parents inquire about your every move when you talk to them. Your friends want you to loosen up and have a good time, and you want that for yourself just as much as any other girl stepping out into the great unknown that is life. That cliché fits you so well, but you don’t have time for clichés because you have people to please and work to finish.

Appeasing the world and making the ones you love proud sits at a ridiculously high place on your list of things you need to do right away but can’t focus on to save your life.

You’re endlessly stressing about finding a job, aren’t you? You'll never work during school, let alone post-graduation, if you are on this slow-motion track.

And you have to focus on midterms and eventually, finals (dear god). Test anxiety is a very real thing, but even worse, your intense atychiphobia. Scantron tests dance circles around you in your nightmares.

Speaking of sleep, you probably don't do that enough. Your body hates you just as much as you hate yourself because you've permanently etched dark circles under your eyes and left yourself with an undying caffeine addiction. It hurts, sometimes, to sleep because your body isn't accustomed to rest and relaxation, or even simple REM sleep, for that matter.

And if you’re in love, maybe you’re worrying about losing such a fundamental part of your life; although, the one you care about is a major part of your sanity, you sometimes go insane thinking about what it may be like if you screwed up again, for the thousandth time in your relationship. Maybe, he won't love you anymore if you fail. Or maybe, she won't want you anymore if you don't see your future clear on the horizon.

You want to be perfect for everyone, including yourself, but damn it, you want to cry off your eyeliner and mascara and lie in bed with no regard for the weight of your life bearing down on you.

Somehow, by some divine miracle, you stumbled upon this article. You’re sitting in your house, or your dorm, or at Hillman or maybe Cathy. You’re reading this article because of procrastination; although, procrastination adds to the stress of your life and masks the pain of the failure you fear.

Pay attention to the following words: You absolutely need to stop telling yourself you can’t do it. You need to stop getting into your own head. And that is the hardest thing anyone can do. Believe me, I know.

I understand, and sometimes, people aren’t going to understand that you feel like you’re losing it all while trying to maintain your goals, hopes and sanity. Sometimes, people are going to look at you, think you’re bat-shit crazy and dismiss the way you close yourself off and worry about every goddamn thing under the sun.

Let it be known that it is OK to fall apart sometimes as long as you pick up the pieces and continue on like the trooper you are. It’s OK to cry. It’s OK to feel sad. It’s OK to feel unhappy and discontent with your life. But what is not OK is letting yourself fall into a permanent rut; what is not OK is losing all faith in yourself. You deserve so much more than that.

I can’t sugarcoat this for you the way your mom or sister or best friend might because we all know the people we love may not be 100 percent honest with us, no matter how much we need it. I can’t tell you that you’re going to find someone who will understand right away, or that it’s going to be easy to get out of the mindset you’ve been conditioned to cement yourself into. I can’t make you any empty promises.

But have you looked at the sky recently? Have you sat outside and watched the sunset? Have you given yourself the time to relax and compose yourself, and are you giving yourself any of the credit you deserve? Have you realized all the good you’ve done – not only for yourself but for the people around you?

Have you reflected on the fact you have made it this far and you’re still going, despite the stress you put yourself under?

I know what you’re thinking while you’re reading these questions because I’ve been there, sitting in the library, trying to stifle tears with more caffeine and more textbooks and more distractions.

You think you can’t do it. You think you’re falling into that cycle again, after another weekend of trying to avoid stress where Monday looms with its lecture halls and homework assignments. You think there is no way you can pull this off, but let me break the news to you: You can do it.

You can write your three-page-minimum-single-spaced essay for that Lit class you hate; you can tell your best friend you’re falling apart; you can tell your significant other you hate who you are and where you are.

You can succeed. You can put yourself back together, one word and one assignment at a time. You can live, but you’ve got to stop inhibiting yourself from being human. You are not a machine. You are not senseless. You’re a person with a mind and a heart and with a determination to flourish that you need to rediscover. Let yourself rediscover the world, what you love, where you want to go and who you want to become.

But, above all, darling, do not let yourself self-destruct. You’ve got to keep going.

All the love,

The girl who's learning to believe in herself

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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