Dear Rowen,

To be honest I’m completely terrified of raising you. There’s so many questions like if i’ll do a good enough job or whether or not you become the person who carries our family's morals. But regardless of my fear, I still want you. I want every part of you. I want your fat rolls, frosting covered face, and the sound of toy cars crashing into each other on our hardwood floors. I want the mud and the dirt, the sport games, and hearing you play fire trucks in your room. I want to be able to say that I’m raising a respectful, kind-hearted young man, and I know that’s what you're going to be. I don’t want a day to go by that you question my love for you. I want you to get in trouble (not too much trouble) and use your imagination to set you free. On your bad days, you better believe that I will pick you up, kiss your bruises, and place you back on your tiny toddler feet.

You're life is going to be pretty damn good considering you have the two most warmed-hearted men to look up too. I hope you see how your father treats me as you see us dancing around the kitchen to our wedding song on our 10 year anniversary. I hope you see how your grandpa takes care of grandma and you start to realize that spontaneous dates never get old (literally).

But most importantly I want you to realize that that girl fell in love with you because of how you treated her. She fell in love with how your voice sounded nervous when you called and asked her out on your first date. She fell in love with how you got out of your car to ring the doorbell. But I think she really fell in love with you when she heard the honesty in your voice when you made a mistake.

I’m terrified of raising you baby boy. I’m so scared because I don't know what I’m doing. I don’t know how you will turn out, but I can promise you that I will put 100% of my effort into you so that you become the most beautiful boy that I’ll ever see. I’m going to raise you like I wish half of the parents raised their sons when I was in high school. You're going to be kind, warm, and driven. God, you're going to accomplish so much and I don’t even know you yet.

Don’t worry about making your father and I proud, you've already done that.

Love,

Mom