Thanks for being my friends in the beginning. I am glad I was able to make a friend from the only friend I came with and get along so well. I am glad I had somebody to talk to about my problems and trust when I really needed somebody to give me advice. Thank you for not judging me. I am glad you didn't judge me.
I am glad as the year went on and we got into relationships we were still able to stay close. I am glad you guys didn't leave me like most of my past friends when I got into a relationship. You gave me advice to all the dumb questions I would ask and the first one I would go to when I needed input on a decision.
I am glad we had that class together the second semester. I think it was a good way to keep us spending some time together and motivated me to go to class. You listened to me complain about all of the stupid drama that happened and talked sense into me.
We didn't spend as much time together in that last half of the school year, but I understood. People get busy, right? You called me in emotional distress and I went to you instead of going to class. Thank you for making me feel like I was wanted, dare I say needed. I was able to give the advice that not enough people ask for.
As summer break grew closer, I didn't get replies to texts. You bailed on our plans. I started to realize you were the only two people I had left. The others I was just associated with through groups. I thought it might be my fault and put in extra effort to spend time with you. Thanks for not noticing my effort.
As soon as summer came, it was worse than it had ever been before. Even getting a text back from my "friends" was hard. Upon the rare occasion I could get a text back, they always had plans to hang out with some of the people I went to high school with. I was never invited.
I had nobody to talk to anymore. Feelings I hadn't felt in almost a year were coming back. I did have one friend from high school, but she was gone for half the summer. It is hard knowing you aren't the top priority of any of your friends. One of the first friends I made at college stole the only friend I came to college with.
I saw that friend twice. The first time I drove to their house 45 minutes away and only spent a half hour there, part of it running an errand for their mom. The second was on my birthday. I saw both of the friends. It wasn't planned. They didn't know it was my birthday. "I'm sorry I didn't text you on your birthday. When was it again?" I just smiled and said it was okay. I was just so happy I got to spend time with people. That was the last I saw of them for the summer.
Year two came along and I thought things would go back to normal, but I only saw you when we had to or I made an effort to. When people started to dislike me, you didn't stand up for me. When I talked to you about it, you said my feelings weren't valid and that I shouldn't be upset. It hurt me. You acted like everything was fine.
Maybe the new semester will bring new friends. Maybe I will find people that put in the same ammount of effort as I do, but I do know that I am not putting anymore effort into this friendship. I will not let it torture me emotionally anymore. I am moving on.
