An Open Letter To My Friends Who Don't Realize Their Facebook Posts Are Offensive | The Odyssey Online
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Politics and Activism

An Open Letter To My Friends Who Don't Realize Their Facebook Posts Are Offensive

It's hard for me to reconcile our friendship with the hate you spew on social media.

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An Open Letter To My Friends Who Don't Realize Their Facebook Posts Are Offensive
Stephanie Mansueto

Hey Friend,

Once upon a time we enjoyed each others company. We could have long conversations about nothing but somehow, it still felt like something. We could eat dinner at restaurants, walk through the mall, take long drives together and somehow I never knew your religious views, political party affiliation, or views on homosexuality. And then, Facebook launched and one of us requested to be friends with the other.

I remember the beginning of our Facebook friendship, when your requests to play Candy Crush or Mafia Wars were the most annoying part of my feed. Then, President Barack Obama won reelection and on occasion, you would share a meme questioning his birthplace or his true goals as president. I found your ignorance amusing but I wasn’t offended. You were obviously a mouth breather, but it was easy to ignore you, so I did.

That all changed after the attacks in Paris last December. You blamed the attacks on France’s acceptance of Syrian refugees. You started posting hateful long-winded rants about refugees coming into the US and the eventual carnage that would follow. You shared meme after meme that filled my feed with what sounded like the screams at protests. Sometimes I would post a link to the Snopes article discrediting your meme, which on occasion you responded with “the point is still valid” or you just simply ignored me.

Either way, you quickly became insufferable. My first action was to only allow Facebook to show me your most engaged posts, pictures of your kids, overly filtered photos of food, you know, the fluff. I went back to semi-liking you.

And then, Orlando happened. And Alton Sterling. And Nice, France and so on. Your Facebook posts became angrier and full of painful words that felt like a gunshot to my chest. I was angry at your words but more importantly, angry at the thought of knowing you and even worse, liking you.

Sometimes, I am not even sure if your words are true to you. You appear to be a loving parent, you appear to be a loving child to your parents. How can someone so loving to the people they know be so cold and unaccepting to strangers? They are, after all, parents, children, family to individuals such as yourself.

My anger at your posts is not because we are voting for different candidates, though you would definitely tell me that my “Libtard views” are clouding my judgement. I may not support your candidate, I do however support your rights to vote for who you wish. That is what makes us America. That is why we enjoy the freedoms we do, such as your right to free speech, which you take advantage of at great lengths most days.

I thought I could just look past your intolerance, and instead turn a blind eye as you pontificate all over the internet until November comes. As the election draws nearer, more of your posts are gaining traction and are now returning to my feed where I can read both your shitty views and those of your friends. You posted something offensive a few days ago about Hillary Clinton, calling her a criminal and blaming her for Bill’s affairs. Your mother commented and called Hillary a lesbian. It all became clear.

You are a product of your upbringing. You are an intolerant bigot because your parents were intolerant bigots. And their parents probably were too.

I am no longer angry with you. I am sad for you. Sad that you live in such a dark place full of hatred and tunnel vision that doesn’t allow you to feel what others may feel. I am also sad for your children who are witnesses to your angry rants. They too will grow up to be intolerant of anyone that is different than them.

It is because of this that I have decided that hiding you is no longer enough. I want to live in a world (both real and augmented) that is full of positive thoughts. I do not want to see your hateful posts anymore.

Even if I am not black, your anti-black posts offend me. They make me realize that while you may have some black friends, you clearly have no idea what they deal with every single day.

Even though I am not an immigrant, your anti-immigration posts and your desire to “build a wall and ban Syrians” hurts my heart and fills me with sadness.

You’re simply not the type of person I want to associate with, on Facebook or anywhere else. I wish you the best of luck in your life, I really do. Unlike you, I do not wish pain or suffering on anyone, even those whose lifestyles or views I do not understand.

Maybe we will meet again someday. If we do, I hope you ask me why I had to let you go… Something tells me that if we were in person and you were not behind your keyboard, you may be willing to open your mind and your heart to opposing views.

Deep down, I know you’re a good person; at least I hope you are. I have to hold on to that idea because I don’t think I can live in a world where people like your Facebook persona exist. What an angry and separated world that would be.

Sincerely yours,

Stephanie

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