Dear Freshman year self,

Doesn’t it feel like yesterday you just finished saying goodbye to your sister and mother on that sweltering day in August with tears in your eyes? As you reflect on your first and second semester of college, you realize that these moments that you have spent at this university are irreplaceable. Every laugh, adventure, experience, and tear reflects the self-growth and personal development that you have gone through in the matter of one single year. However, you know deep down you will never get this time back.

On your first day of college, you had an odd feeling. You were not scared. You were not worried. You were not upset. You were comfortable. This warm sense of security and passion had suddenly surged through your body and you knew that this was the place you were meant to be. You patiently awaited the unknown. You had no idea what this year would behold, but you were sure everything would work out just as planned. That first night, as you laid in your bed, you promised yourself to be authentic and take advantage of every opportunity and experience that came your way.

As you stressed about your first exam, attended your first homecoming and became active on campus, you did not even notice how quickly time passed. When you went home for the first time during the fall semester, you realized that the town you grew up in, the house you lived in for over 10 years and surroundings you once knew, were no longer where you felt you were meant to be. You long surpassed the days of walking home tirelessly from high school, awaiting the start of college. Stony Brook University became where you were destined to be.

Thanksgiving break marked a turning point. It was weird to think that for four days straight you would no longer head over to the dining hall with your friends, venture off campus that weekend or study for hours upon hours in the library. The routine that had been established for months was now officially broken. Even though you knew it was time for a break, you did not want to leave what you had created.

An exhausting round of finals pass and your “freedom” begins. It was time for winter break; a time period known for being bittersweet. To think that you would not see the people you became close with for over a month was a catastrophe. However, you knew that there were individuals from back home that you wanted to reconnect with and share your experiences. Even though the ominous sense of sadness had engulfed all of us, we knew we had to end the fall semester of our freshman year of college with one last adventure to close out the semester. That last midnight walk off campus in the midst of a bone-chilling winter will be something I will remember forever.

Fast forward to the start of your spring semester in which these moments continued. Moments of exhaustion, moments of success, and moments of surprise. The start of the spring semester was tough; your friends and yourself had an extremely emotionally exhausting winter. However, you knew getting back into the usual routine of college would help heal the wounds of the winter. We all were awaiting the warmth of the spring and were anxious to know what this semester would have in store for us. Little did we know what would come next yet.

If you could summarize your spring semester of your freshman year of college in one word it would be chaotic. Chaotic does not necessarily mean destructive, but rather we were not able to process what was going on until our last day of the semester. You and your friends all sat in the infamous lounge reflecting on what the hell happened throughout the semester. Moments that had occurred at the beginning of the semester appear to be from centuries ago. Emotions that you all once held seem distant. Life had changed. You all acknowledge your faults, your successes, your aspirations for the following semester, and what you learned from these moments.

As you are writing this letter, you are awaiting the move-out process with your parents. You will start to remove the sheets from the bed that you feel as though you just finished putting on. You will leave that room for the last time and the sense of independence that it represented on your first day of college. Even though locking your door for the last time is heart-wrenching, you know your summer beholds an exciting experience; a new city, a new university and a new group of people to connect with. However, no matter what you tell yourself, this year of college has been one of the most life changing experiences you have gone through and you will cherish all of it for years. To all prospective sophomores, congratulations for finishing your first year of college: you made it. To all prospective freshmen of the class of 2021, make sure you take advantage of every moment that comes your way because you will never get it back.

Sincerely,

Paul Alberti