Going to college is a liberating thing for a lot of people. But for someone with anxiety and low self esteem, all of this sudden change can be a little rattling. Don't worry fellow friends, everyone does not hate you and you are going to find your people. I promise.
The biggest issue I had going into my freshman year was the fact that I am not necessarily the most normal person, which has a tendency to, basically, weird people out. I'll admit it. I'm loud, I'm outspoken, and I spend nearly all of my free time looking for flying saucers in the sky. How are you supposed it introduce yourself?
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I was awkward, unsure, and definitely a little obnoxious.
Now I'm going to drop a bomb on y'all. Everyone in your freshman class is going to be a little awkward, very unsure, and a little obnoxious. Everyone is trying to show off and make it seem like they are hot stuff and know it all. And everyone is worried about their peers liking them and how well their going to fit in. Some just handle it better than others or have a more natural ability to make friends without a lot of effort.
The key is to stop trying so hard. Just be yourself and people will naturally come to like you. The harder you push yourself the more people will be wary of you. Don't worry so much about it, because once classes start friendships will naturally grow.
You're sitting alone in the cafeteria? Who cares! Enjoy your meal alone. I promise you nobody is going to point fingers or intentionally avoid you. You won't be eating alone for long. Before you know it your table will be full and you'll be commiserating over 8 AM classes and coordinating Walmart trips.
You will find your people. They might not even be in your school much less your major, but I promise you will find them. I'm a properties artisan living with a stage manager and two electricians and we all get along fine!
That being said, here are some things you can do to open yourself up more to your classmates.
- Be honest about yourself. You don't have to lie or tell tall tales to make yourself seem interesting. You go to UNCSA, I promise you are already an interesting person.
- Don't be afraid to talk about your interests. You don't have to talk about school stuff all the time. Who knows? Maybe you'll learn something cool about each other!
- If you have a car, offer to give people a ride to the store. A good run to WalMart or Lowes with a big group of people is a great way to save gas, money, and make friends.
- Don't be afraid to do little things like hold the door for people. Help your neighbor move stuff in. Go around your hall and introduce yourself.
- Don't limit yourself to the freshman class! I made friends with a variety of people my freshman year that weren't other freshman. Being friends with upperclassmen is a great way to understand your school and what to expect as well as get some good advice along the way.
In addition to that, here is some extra advice on making friends.
- Remember, its always better to be yourself than pretend to be someone that you aren't. We're here for a long time and that schick will get old fast.
- You can be the biggest, ripest peach in the world, but there will always be someone who just doesn't like peaches.
- Friendships are organic. They will happen in time. Some acquaintances will become good friends and others might not. And that's okay.
- It's okay to not know everything. You're in college to learn, and I promise everyone that's boasting about how they already know how to rig a fly systems or focus a light doesn't know everything either.
The most important thing to remember is to just be yourself. You are a part of an incredible school. You're going to do great things and have the time of your life! Classes start this week and it's going to be killer! Work hard and be kind!
It's going to be a great year!
