Dear guy I thought I was going to marry,

When I first met you, I thought you were the most amazing guy I had ever met. You always said the right things, my sister loved you, you cared about your family more than anything, and you were super polite. You were so easy to talk to and you were always straightforward with me. You always told me exactly how you felt and I fell in love with you very quickly.

Pretty early on in our relationship I noticed some things that I didn't like. Our lifestyles didn't line up at all. You lied to me a lot in the beginning of our relationship, which caused me to have trust issues throughout the entire time we were dating. I blew off everyone I cared about to hang out with you. One of the main reasons I drifted apart from one of my best friends was because of you. I'm not blaming these things on you, because it was my fault. It was almost like I became addicted to you and addicted to spending time with you and that you were all I cared about. I became blind to the bad things that you did and the person I became while I was with you.

Even in the beginning of our relationship you were a very jealous person. You hated when I talked to any of my guy friends, and that jealousy quickly turned into control. We were constantly texting when we weren't together, and if I didn't reply within thirty minutes you would call me. You did this even after I broke up with you because you thought I was hanging out with another guy. I wasn't answering your texts, so you called me seventeen times and Facetimed me six times. Later when I called you out on that, you told me you were having an anxiety attack and that you had to talk to me. Maybe that was true. But if it is, it was because you realized that you were losing control of me. You finally realized that you lost me.

But I overlooked all of this stuff. All of the controlling behavior, all of the lies, all of the times you let me down, and all of the times you were late. I overlooked it because I thought you were the one for me and that those things were just "bumps in the road." I thought all couples were like that, but I finally realized that I was wrong. I'm not naive enough to think that I will be in a perfect relationship, but my future husband and I's relationship will not be as flawed as our's was. I know now that I was more in love with the thought of our future than I was with you. I am deeply sorry to you and to myself for taking so long to realize that.

Sincerely,

The new me who finally woke up