There were many times that I questioned what exactly was wrong with me, and how you could not want me to be a part of your life...

There were many times where I was surrounded by my friends' dads who loved them unselfishly, doing all of the fatherly duties that a dad does for his daughter...going to daddy daughter dances, meeting the first boyfriend, being over protective.

There were many times where I wished you were there to witness my major accomplishments in my life... But, at the end of the day you were never there. You never wanted to be there.

For a long time I was bitter and held it against you. I could not understand how someone could have a child whom they were not curious about. I am half of you, but you know none of me. But, now that I have went through the first 19 years of my life, I owe you a big thank you.

If it wasn't for you, I would not be as strong and independent as I am today. You taught me that I did not need you in order to be successful in my life, I did not need someone who did not want to be a part of my life. Because of you, I have come to terms with the fact that you could never be the father I needed you to be. If you truly wanted to be a part of my life, you would have made the effort. I have stopped putting forth an effort because putting in energy for someone who doesn't return the same is exhausting.

If it wasn't for you, I would not know exactly what I don't want in my future. I do not want my kids to grow up wondering what type of person their father is, or wondering why in the world they were never good enough for someone who is supposed to be considered "family."

If it wasn't for you, I would not know forgiveness. At the end of the day, it is you who is missing out. You will never know what I looked like for my senior prom, you will never know my first heartbreak, my awkward braces stage, my life as an athlete...you will never get that time back. But, I have all of these memories with those who have never left my side.

Although you have let me down more times than I could count, I still love you and more importantly, I forgive you. I hope that what you have lacked with me, you have made up for in your other children. I hope they never fall asleep at night wondering if their dad loves them. I hope they never have to know the pain of a parent not wanting you.

But, most importantly, I hope you forgive yourself. I have grown into a successful young adult, and will continue to grow stronger as the years go on. I am not the one who has missed out, it is you who has missed out on me.