It wasn’t the way parenthood was supposed to go. You were supposed to raise me, watch me grow in so many ways, and teach me how to be a man. You never could though; not behind those steel bars.

I grew up waiting for you. In my adolescent mind I always figured you’d find a way out and that you’d come find me and that you’d finally be there. Maybe you’d make up for all the lost time, all the lost years. You never did though. I wondered what made me deserve to grow up fatherless, but I finally stopped stressing over it. Eventually the birthday cards stop arriving yearly and you realize that it is what it is. You not being there for me made me who I am today, and I’m proud of the outcome.

Although you weren’t there for me growing up, I never hated you. I had all sorts of support from family, family friends, normal friends, friend’s families, and so on. When I told these people where you were, they empathized for me; I didn’t need it though. I never had you in my life, so I didn’t really know what I was missing.

To be honest, I wasn’t missing much. My single mom raised me with enough love for the both of you. She worked tirelessly to make sure that I had a roof over my head and that I didn’t go to sleep hungry; because you wouldn’t. It’s not that you could and chose not to, you didn’t have the option. I understand that, I just don’t condone the situation.

One lesson you’ve taught me is that I’ll always be there for my children. It’s not that they wouldn’t survive without a father; it’s that I couldn’t imagine not being able to see them grow. I’ll never miss my son’s first steps, first words, or last day of school. That’s the type of man I am; because of you.