To all those I never seem to thank:

Dear Grandmo,

I can't believe you're gone. You were in this world for nearly 96 years, and I honestly thought you would be at my wedding and hold your great-grandchildren. You've been gone for nearly a month, and it still feels like you're a part of this world. It's really hard to picture this world without you.

Grandmo, I never told you "I love you" enough, and I definitely never thanked you enough. I love you, and I miss you. And thank you for all the wonderful things you did for me and my family. Thank you for helping out with the first year of tuition at UNT. I wouldn't have been able to go there without your help. Thank you for giving Mary Kate the rest of her tuition so she could get an education and change the world of geology and hydrology. Thank you, Grandmo, for being you. Thank you for encouraging me to write. It seemed like, even when Mom and Dad wouldn't support my writing, you would. You always were checking in on me and how my books were going. Grandmo, you always cared about my projects. Every time we talked on the phone, you told me about your own writings and how proud of me you were. Thank you. Thank you for being my grandmother.

Dear Mom,

You are my inspiration in so many ways. I know we don't always see eye to eye and that we often fight, but you are a true inspiration and hero to me.

You never back down. You keep your feet firmly on the ground. Mom, you've taught me and Mary Kate to stand for what we believe in, to be true to ourselves, and to never hide who we are. You taught us caring, understanding, focus, drive, and passion. You showed us that being different is not a bad thing.

Thank you, Mom. Thank you for taking care of me when I can't take care of myself. Thank you for feeding me, clothing me, bathing me, sheltering me, paying for me and showing me who I am. I wouldn't be this person without you.

Mom, you are an incredible woman. Despite your flaws, you shine brighter than the stars. You've taught me that it's okay to ask for help, that it's hard to always rely on yourself, and that it's never too late to seek advice and help and love.

You came to every sporting event that you could. I could always hear you in the crowd at track meets even when I was so far in the zone, I couldn't hear others cheers. You would sit up there in the stands in you sunhat and sunscreen, praying for me to place and then I would come around that bend and all I could hear was:"Kick it, Carmen! Kick it!" You came to my soccer games, even when you hated the contact of it. You came to every one of my We the People competitions that were in Nevada. You have never stopped supporting me. So thank you, Mom for teaching me how to be a good person.

Thank you for being a great mom. Without you, I wouldn't be writing or running or doing the things I love.

Dear Dad,

I've always been a daddy's girl, from a young age. We would talk science, the Moody Blues, play soccer and go to amusement parks. You taught me my multiplication tables so well, teachers thought I was cheating. You taught me about rocks and let me read your books that I was probably way too young to be reading.

We always had a special connection. You introduced me to all my favorite (non-metal) bands. Every time the Moody Blues came to town, you and I had tickets. And Six Flags... that was our place.

Now, we don't always get along. We definitely don't agree with each other's politics, but I still want to thank you. Despite the fact that you can be a jerk, you're still my dad. You taught me to be aggressive, to never back down from a fight, to be strong-willed and how to drive.

Thank you, Dad for teaching me how to be courageous. Through all of your health issues, you were a rock. You kept a sense of humor and continued to be an amazing father. Even now, when I'm a disaster of a human with all my health issues, you are still being my dad.

Thank you for showing me how to be an intense, odd, abnormal person. You always say, "Every family is dysfunctional, ours is just more open about it." And you're right. Because of you, I no longer have a problem with it.

Dear Mary Kate,

I've never told you how much I used to think I lived in your shadow. You were the older sister with better discipline, better grades, and a better athlete. You were always the person I wanted to be. I would mimic your speech and actions. I started cussing when you did. You were always someone I looked up to.

Though we fight and say mean things, I know you'll always have my back and that I will always have yours. You are an incredible big sister. Mary Kate, you taught me how to be feminine.

Did you know that you helped inspire my writing? Those stupid Grannies we always pretended to be, helped me create stories about them and that turned me into a writing machine. I guess I should thank you for that.

Mary Kate, thank you for being there. Thank you for introducing me to new foods, helping me recover from injuries, teaching me how to be a bit more girly and for being my sister. You have helped me stay grounded when I'm home.

Dear Super Friends,

Y'all know who you are. I don't say thank you enough. I never do. Thank you guys for being my friends through all the crap I have gone through and undoubtedly will go through again.

Thank you guys for sticking with me through my anger, bitterness, aggression, resentment, and stupidity. You guys keep me sane. Whenever I need a shoulder to lean on or a face to rant to, you are there. You pick me up when I'm down and lift me higher when I'm going up.

Without you, I wouldn't be this person. You encourage me to write or take photos, to pursue photography, to do investigative reporting, to be a resident assistant, and to be me. Most people who see the real me, run away from it. But you guys, don't stand for that... I owe you guys the world. Thank you.

Dear Isabella,

You are my best friend. You have seen the worst of me and my family. I'm fairly sure we've been to the pits of hell and back again, and you keep coming back for more.

Thank you. Isabella, thank you for allowing me to be this weird, nerdy, cussing dive of a person. We've been friends for nearly six years now, and you haven't run away from me yet.

Thank you for taking me to the rodeo for the last five years, for listening to my ridiculous rants about random things, for being a model for my pictures, for reading my books, for helping me write a screenplay, for being a dork with me, for discussing ethnicity/DC/Marvel with me, for encouraging me to pursue my dreams, for being you, and for being my friend. You keep me down to earth.... hell, you keep me attached to earth. Thank you. I don't know who I'd be without you. You are the Tristan to my James Clyde.

Dear Dr. Malcarney,

Thank you for being my surgeon. For five years, I have suffered with this damn knee problem. You never wanted to operate. You never wanted to take me out of commission from the things I love to do. For five years, you worked to make sure I didn't need surgery. And when it finally came time that I did, you gave me back my life.

Thank you for giving me the privilege to run and play soccer again one day. Thank you for rushing to my side when I fainted in your office. Thank you for giving me a cadaver ankle piece and making me part zombie. Thank you so, so much for letting me be an athlete again. I know that once I've passed physical therapy, I am going to be able to run again... without pain, and I owe that to you.

Thank you for giving me my life back.

Dear Dr. Spevak and team,

Thank you guys for being my physical therapists. After three years, I don't know where I'd be without you. I've already got so much motion back in my knee, it's incredible. Thank you guys for going above and beyond.

Every time I walk into your establishment, I can feel the passion you have for your patients. You treat each of us with care and love, even. There seems to always be a snack at the counter, and you keep us smiling when all we want to do is scream in pain.

You teach us how to keep our bodies healthy and show us the ways to get us back to being who we once were. The exercises you give us, while painful, help us reach our maximum potential. You are unafraid to push us past our limits.

Thank you guys for being wonderful, for showing support when we need it the most, for recommending people in Texas, for listening to our inane questions, for putting pictures of us up on the walls, and for being genuine human beings.

Thank you guys for your help in taking me back to who I want to be. I can't wait to run again.

Dear Mr. Clark, Mr. Ochs, Mr. Meinert, Ms. Evans, Ms. Affintio, Mr. Busboom and other Reno High School teachers,

Thank you guys for teaching me about discipline. The standard that you held the honors and AP students to has helped me through college, in writing and in life. You guys have prepared me so much more than I could have ever imagined, and I cannot thank you enough.

Mr. Clark, thank you for teaching me how to speak in public and how to write succinctly. Thank you for showing me how much I love politics and the Constitution and Bill of Rights, in particular. Thank you for not taking my cynicism and sarcasm too seriously and thank you for being one of the best teachers I have ever had.

Mr. Ochs, thank you for being the tallest teacher I have ever had. Okay, but seriously, thank you for bringing a passion into your classroom. You showed me how much fun doing something you love can be. You showed me kindness and drive and inspired me to follow what I love. Also, thank you for not being offended that one of my book characters shares a name with your son.

Mr. Meinert, thank you for showing me that you don't always get "A's." You showed me that a class can kick your butt, but you can still learn from it. I hate chemistry to this day, but you taught me how to be a better student.

Ms. Evans, thank you for giving me a stencil in geometry. I hope I'm still the only student you gave one of those to. I still use it, by the way. Thank you teaching me that math and writing can go hand in hand.

Ms. Affinito,

Thank you for bringing back my passion to write. You showed me how to make any topic interesting if you just tried hard enough. You brought to life books I never would have dreamed of reading and showed me that English is so much more than what I thought.

Mr. Busboom,

Thank you for being you. The passion you brought to the classroom and the fun still makes me happy to this day. I look back at senior year and remember very few things, but your class is always a part of it.

Dear Running Buddy,

Thank you for being my running buddy. Thank you for taking the time three mornings a week to talk and run and eat with me. You showed me that I love running and not just sprinting.

You push me to my breaking point and then throw me over the edge because you know I can do it. I think you know my limits better than I do. Thank you for being so kind and caring and passionate about running and life.

I miss you, a lot, but I know as soon as I'm back on my feet, we'll be running again. Thank you for sticking with me through all the injuries, and I expect to see you at the Reno-Tahoe Odyssey run next summer!

Dear Staff,

I love you guys. Thank you for being a part of my life and for listening to me and for treating me like an equal.

Thank you for your continued support through all the lows of my life. You guys keep me on my toes and send me funny pictures and texts when I need them. Thank you for being there, especially after the semester I had.

I don't have much else to say, except that y'all are my family, and I can't imagine my college career or life without you.

Dear Amber, Ambrosia, and Tori,

Thank you guys for keeping me sane in Texas. You listen to me bitch and moan. Y'all are some of the best friends I could have ever asked for, and I look forward to seeing you all in August.

Lastly, thank you, Carmen.

I don't say this to myself very often: You are worthy. You have been through things no one could imagine, and you keep freaking fighting. You are strong and caring and passionate. You have drive and love and compassion. You are brave and smart and true to who you are. Don't be afraid to celebrate your accomplishments. You have done some incredible things in your life and have helped people. Recognize that. You are so much more than what you think.

Thank you for staying true to yourself. Thank you for seeking out support and help. Thank you for taking care of yourself. Thank you... for being Carmen. I can't imagine a world without you in it.