To Whom It May Concern:
So. You've made up your mind: you are not the pretty friend. You probably looked around at your friends one day, realizing with a heavy heart that you are easily the least memorable of them. Maybe sometimes you wonder how you managed to sneak your way into this group of stunners. Maybe you've settled for being the nice one, or the funny one, or the smart one. But deep down, you know what you really are. To borrow from pop culture, you are the D.U.F.F.
Designated. Ugly. Fat. Friend.
You're not the girl that boys notice. In fact, if a guy is talking to you at all, chances are he's asking you to hook him up with one of your unfairly beautiful best friends. The same friends who likely drill it into your mind on a daily basis that you're pretty, although you are almost certain they're lying for the sake of being nice. You can't possibly be anything more than average at best. You feel like the phrase "but, she's got a great personality" ought to be written on your forehead, so people know you're not a total waste of time. Maybe someday someone will have low standards. Maybe you'll settle. You'll certainly never be truly desirable, but it's fine. Everything is fine. Who cares about self-confidence? Dissatisfaction with what you see in the mirror isn't the worst thing that could happen, right?
Guess what, friend? You're wrong. About all of it.
Beauty is an odd thing. A lot of people treat it as though it is a concrete ideal: a specific bone structure, certain measurements, a flawless sense of style. But that's not beauty at all. Beauty is so complex. And honestly, it doesn't really have that much to do with the way you look at all. Yes, this is an overused cliche, but it's worth repeating: beauty really is on the inside.
The thing is, being truly beautiful is more closely tied to being the nice one or the smart one or the funny one than just being the "hot" friend. The aforementioned qualities are the things that last. A 36-24-36 body may be considered ideal, but it isn't even close to permanent. A good sense of humor or a kind heart, however, does not age. So instead of pouring energy into your own self-deprecation, focus instead on cultivating some of those amazing qualities in yourself.
And if that doesn't do it for you, remember that beauty is subjective. The proposed mainstream ideal doesn't appeal to everyone. There was a quote circling the internet not too long ago, and it says this: "Just because you don't look like someone who you think is attractive doesn't mean you aren't attractive. Flowers are pretty but so are Christmas lights and they look nothing alike." So maybe that's really the point. Maybe there's no such thing as a D.U.F.F. because ugly isn't real. Maybe it's time you realized that you are beautiful. Maybe amazing things would happen if you just started believing that you're worth more than you think.
Who knows? The whole world is before you. Don't settle for believing lies.
