To my sweet Abbie,
From the moment that you finally came home with us until today, I have loved you and will always love you. You were my best friend for 10 years. You slept in my bed with me every night. You comforted me when I was upset about school or my friends and, of course, when we were both afraid of the bad weather.
You brought me so much joy. I wouldn’t have made it through high school with my sanity if I didn’t come home to your adorable self everyday. I thought I would at least get to experience that when I would come home from college too, and I was lucky because I did get to experience that for a whole year. But, everything changed in 2015.
I always thought that we would have infinite time together. My first dog lived to be 16 so I assumed that you would live just as long, but then you didn’t. For some reason, I was convinced that we had so much time left together. That extra 6 years probably would’ve prepared me more for what was to come. I’m sorry that my assumption about our time together was wrong. I’m sorry for the times that I kicked you out of my room when you smelled bad or were sick or grumpy. You never complained when I was sick or grumpy— at least that I know of.
I’m sorry that I wasn’t there with you in your final moments. The fact that I wasn’t will always haunt me. You were always there for me, but I couldn’t bring myself to be there for you when you needed me most. I’m sorry that I ignored that you died until I came home from college for Fall break, but you know that denial is how I deal with most of my feelings.
But I want you to know that every time I go home, I still expect to see your smiling, grey face and your wagging tail. But you aren’t there and that will always be weird to me. The other two dogs are there, but it’s not the same. I love them, but not at all like I loved you. I think about you multiple times a day and look through the same pictures and videos everyday and think about how much I love you. I didn’t know it was even possible to love and miss someone so much.
I’ll never forget the way that you would run full speed towards me when you hadn’t seen me in a few hours or how you were always there to get me out bed on school mornings. I still miss that, and I think I’ll always miss that. But the thing that I miss most is the comfort of having you in bed next to me every night with your obnoxious and loud snoring/heavy breathing. Yes, it was annoying at the time, but I would give anything to have that back in my life.
Anyway, I hope you're happy wherever you are. I hope you’re taking naps and eating enough ice cream for the both of us. I’m trying my hardest to deal and get through life without you, and it gets easier everyday, but that doesn’t mean that I miss you and love you any less. I hope you know how much I love and miss you. I am eternally grateful that I got to have you as a dog because you were the best dog that I will ever have.
Love always,
Your Person
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