I’ll start by saying I go to a Jesuit school—which means that all Greek life is not allowed. I know it seems crazy, what is college without going to gross frat parties on your weekend? How do you even have a legitimate social life? Well, I do manage to survive. I did not need to return to school a week early after winter break like all of my friends from home needed to. I did not spend my winter break trying to plan outfits to wear during rush week. I did not Google recruitment videos and replay them every day to try to figure out which sorority seemed like the best fit for me. No, I did none of that. But I did watch all my friends from home who attend different colleges do that. And I can honestly say, I’ve never been so confused in my entire life.

First of all, how are the ways of rush even allowed in society anymore? From the sounds of it, it seems like it is just older girls judging younger, scared girls over a three-second conversation in order to see if they would fit in well with their cult. Isn’t the whole 21st century talking about “girl power” and how “girls need to stick together,” yet here are a group of girls saying they do not like a girl because the sweater she decided to wear during rush week was dumb and ugly, and she probably is too.

Do not even get me started on pledging. So once the girls in the cult decide they have best picked the next year of minions off of God knows what system, they decide that they will torture them. Because that is always a great way to welcome someone as a “sister.” I’m sorry, but I could think of a lot of ways that the girls can bond that does not involve mentally scarring them.

I do not even understand the whole Big thing (a term I was recently educated on by my friends). My friends told me they were busy every night going on “dates” to find the best match for their Big. Who even has time to go and talk to these random girls to see if they are compatible to be your friend? And what even is a “baby shower?"

I have nothing against Greek life. I actually think sororities and fraternities are a great way to meet new people and get involved in your school. All my friends love their sororities and are having a blast this semester. I, not having a choice to join a sorority, just never made to effort to learn the ways and works of Greek life. Now, I am easily paying for it while I sit there confused when my friends talk about it. I’m getting better at learning the ways, so I should probably stop saying that next semester I’m joining “Kappa Delta Gamma Gamma Omega Alpha Sigma Sigma Delta Kappa” because now I understand a sorority cannot exist with that many Greek letters. Progress.