Finding out that my mom's stomach was "broken" and that she wasn't able to have anymore kids after me was a very hard thing to deal with, even at the age of four. I remember praying and wishing on every dandelion, star and penny thrown into a fountain that I would be able to have a younger sibling. My parents didn't give up either. They filed for adoption and after two very long years, I was granted a baby sister.
We drove through two states to reach her and I waited patiently at a family friend's house as my parents went to the hospital to get her. As my mother laid the most amazing gift in my arms, I started crying. Her beautiful milky-brown skin and her head full of curly black hair was almost too much to take in. I had the perfect sister and she was all mine.
My family definitely needed another addition, so after filing again for another little angel, we were blessed with my little brother – a gorgeous and tiny little boy with almost-blue eyes and creamy hazelnut skin. At this point, I was a white girl with two African-American siblings and two white parents, and my life was as amazing as a nine-year-old's could get.
Growing up, I never noticed any difference between any of my family members, other than the fact that my sister was a very sassy girl and loved stealing all of my clothes, and my brother was the sweetest best friend anyone could ask for and was the best when it came to sharing with friends and snuggling me while doing homework together. My family was my family. Sure, I found out that other people were not as used to it when they saw us walking down the street together, and depending on which state we were in, people would assume that my dad was a polygamist, but none of that ever bothered or phased us.
That is, none of it bothered me until now. Technically, I was bothered as soon as my sibling's friends asked why we were different colors from each other and if it was weird for us. Obviously, it wasn't because we are a family and I never cared (or really even noticed for that matter) that we had different appearances from each other. It bothered me when a girl in my sister's class started teasing her for being a "minority." It bothered me when my brother and sister both had to learn what happened in our country to other people that looked like them. It bothers me now that when my siblings watch the news, all they see is people pointing out the differences between our two "different races" and all of the hatred that apparently goes on between them in different parts of our country, still today. I hate that my siblings are being taught to fear the police when their own grandfather is a retired police officer who would die for them to this day.
So this is for my sister and for my brother:
Lou, Bubbas,
You two are perfect. I am so lucky to have been blessed enough to have you as siblings. We fight and we yell sometimes, but other times we will literally be peeing our pants because we are laughing so hard. I can't imagine my life without you two. I know that the world can be scary right now and people are trying to tell us that we are different from each other. I know you want to have your own identities as you grow up and the fact that you have dark skin and white parents might make that frustrating or confusing. People might make you feel like you have to have to pick which "side" you are on. I just really want you to know, there are no sides. You and I are equal. We are both human beings who are capable of the exact same things. Well, almost. Lou, as much as it pains me to say, you are a much faster runner and I know you can do really well in whichever sport you do end up picking. And baby boy, you definitely are a lot kinder than I am to people. Even though you are 10-years-old, I am already learning so much from you about empathy and friendship.
You two can accomplish anything you want. There might be people who say you can't do something or that something has happened to you because of the color of your skin, but I just want you to laugh at their faces and tell them that you are a human being living in this day and age. Don't pay attention to all of the evil that is going on. I want you to always stand up for yourselves, and if you ever need any help remembering how important you are, just ask one of your 50 family members just how amazing, unique and special you are.
Love always,
Your sister
