With the endless array of horoscopes, clichés like, “you find your soulmate in college,” romance films, and abundance of “#relationshipgoals” on social media, it seems that there is a constant reminder, or encouragement rather, to pursue the search for a partner and attain a romantic relationship.
This is not to say that it is bad to be in a relationship, or bad to want a relationship. There are many college-aged people in great relationships and it works for them! This is simply a reminder to all the college aged people (including myself) that feel the constant push to find the one, that it is completely 100% OK to be single.
I always hear people say, “forever alone,” or they give a never-ending list of personal traits as to why they are single.
Why does it matter if you are not in a relationship?
You, as a human being, deserve better than to constantly question why the people you may be interested in don’t reciprocate those feelings. Some of us may not even know what we want to study in college, how can we expect to know what kind of person we want to be with long-term, or how to be in a relationship long-term? College is a time of personal growth, learning, and individual freedom that we will not have in the future. Spending endless time with friends, making stupid mistakes, pulling all-nighters, having few obligations- these things will be a pretty far reach in the future and with more severe consequences.
What other time in your life are you going to be able to stay out with friends until 5 am and not have to worry about communicating with your partner, or making sure you responded to the endless emails from your boss or preparing for that company project? Chances are pretty slim.
This is not a shout to everyone- these are just things I notice. Many people focus so heavily on what other guys/girls think of them, always yearning for their attention, their input- especially with the rise of social media. I am not innocent here, either.
I get especially concerned when I think about my parents’ relationship. I am incredibly blessed to have parents that have been married for 30 years. 30 years. My parents started dating when my mom was 18. Seeing that I am coming up on 21, I started to hit the “F**k, I’m screwed,” mindset. However, this past year, I have come to a deep realization that college times are a huge learning curve. Those nights where you stay up insanely late just because you can, the not-so-smart choices, getting in trouble, meeting new people, having your own schedule, discovering your interests, building lifelong friendships- these are the things that shape and teach us, these are the things that help define who you are and where you aspire to go. These are the things that promote your independence- I can’t stress enough how insanely important it is to take care of yourself, and to be able to take care of yourself without the consideration of someone else. This is the cliché “you against the world” scenario.
This is the time to be unexplainably, shamelessly, confidently YOU. And if you do not know exactly who you are (which is pretty much all of us)- this is the time to start figuring it out- then you can be self-assured with who you have become, and can let someone in when you have a firmer grip on yourself and your future.
So go be crazy, go be stupid, go be selfish, go take care of yourself. Why? Because you have every opportunity to do so, and this window of opportunity closes faster than you'd expect.
