While many people throughout our country can find a scary amount of things to argue about (i.e. a cup) I’m pretty certain we can all agree on one thing; The world isn’t the same place it was fifty years ago. Smart phones, tablets, 3D printers –– those are only a few of the technological advances we’ve made in just the span of a few decades. Yet the differences in the world aren’t only limited to some crazy advances in technology. In the last fifty years, we’ve come so far in spreading equality throughout our country. From the end of segregation in the 60s to the national legalization of same sex marriage just this past year, it’s safe to say that we’ve definitely made progress from the time when our grandparents were growing up. However, with the dawn of the acceptance peeking over the horizon comes the rise of a whole new generation afraid to show some of you who they really are. They watch with horror as you pull the shades closed, disenabling acceptance to peek through while they listen to you and your spouse snarling less than kind comments about the growing LGBT community.
Your words hit them hard. Like five thousand knives, all flying at them simultaneously. Each one creating a new wound that they’ll have to make a serious effort to cover up.
But your words do hurt them. Because little do you know, your words are targeted at them. And with each word is only further assurance for them that you’ll never accept them for who they are. How could they think anything different? They just heard you rant about how wrong it was for Caitlin Jenner to be doing what she’s doing. They just heard you utter a slur about that homosexual couple you saw on your way to work that morning.
They could never tell you who they really are. How they really feel.
Yet, let’s say they do. Let’s say they bottled every ounce of courage they had in order to come out to you. They tell you they’re gay, bisexual, transgender, or whatever sexuality or gender they identify with.
This information will deflate you. Though you may not say it out loud, you think that something is wrong with your child. So you dismiss it. You tell your kid that whatever they just told you is “just a phase” or that “they’ll feel different in a few years”. And yeah, maybe that’s the case. Maybe in a few years they will feel different.
But that is not your call. They just poured their hearts out to you, told you the one thing that has more than likely been eating them up inside for months, maybe even years. And for you to sit there and sweep it under the rug like it’s nothing isn’t right. Because for them, it’s everything. It’s a part of them. They grew up in a time where being gay has slowly started to become a widely accepted social norm. There are TV shows and movies about same sex couples while some of the most successful people in the world belong to the LGBT community. It’s time to get with the times people. Being attracted to the same sex isn’t some deadly, life threatening disease here to wipe out a chunk of the population. It’s not the Bubonic Plague stepping back into the spotlight for a reunion tour. Sometimes a girl is going to like a girl, a boy is going to like a boy, and sometimes they might like both. Sometimes a girl will feel more comfortable as a boy, sometimes a boy will feel more comfortable as a girl, and sometimes they might feel more comfortable as both. Why should that determine what kind of person they are? The captain of the Varsity football team can have a boyfriend and still like football. Believe it or not, what gender your child is attracted to won’t exactly affect all aspects of their life. Nor will the gender your child decides they want to be. Telling them that it’s wrong to want to identify with another gender is synonymous to telling them to wear one shirt for the rest of their lives, despite the fact that it makes them uncomfortable.
I understand that everyone wasn’t raised the same way. People have different beliefs and cherish different values. It’s what makes us human. We’re not all supposed to be wired the same way. To think that would be incredibly naïve. But is it really too much to ask to open our minds and hearts to something that’s going to be around for the rest of human existence? As we open our minds and hearts, old traditions and ways of thinking can be set free and make room for acceptance. And most importantly, for love.
So parents, if one day your child blindsides you by telling you they’re gay— please remember that they are still your child. The same child you raised and cared for all those years, the same child you pushed on the swing on a chilly Fall afternoon or drove to soccer practice three times a week. The same child that loves you with every beat of their heart.
They haven’t changed.
It’s just time for you to.
