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Student Life

An Open Letter To My Broke Self

“You have to do better. Stop spending your money!”

Emily Jimenez

Jan 03, 2017

Virginia Commonwealth University

Bridesmaids/Funny or Die

Hello, My Broke Self,

Here we are again. At the register, with our magic (debit card) card that is getting declined. You and I both know why it has been declined and yet you still put on an act as if you had no such idea that something so absurd could happen to you. “Oh, are you sure? Let me try another card!” comfortably pretending like you have another card.

“Oh, you know what...my credit card number was stolen and I forgot to bring my new one! Ha ha, silly me! I will just come back later for this!” you say, lying to the cashier who is foolishly playing along with you.

Then you run out of store dodging the looks of judgment from other customers in line because everyone knows damn well you are indeed not coming back with “your new card."

To quote Fat Amy, “Judgy bitches.”

But back to the actual problem, the root of it all, if you will. You DO NOT HAVE ANY money on your card.

So you ended the summer with (for example) $2,000, now you have a whopping $4.25 to your name. So where did all that money go? Lets take a journey with the ghost of money past and see where this all started going downhill.

Friday night margaritas
Wine night
Dinner with friends
Cute coffee mug that had some dumb inspirational quote that I had to have cause damn it, I need inspiration
Bored, stressed, drunk, sober pizza.. pizza in general
Alcohol
Cute shirt + Cute shoes = Cute outfit and IT'S ON SALE #BLESSED #MUSTHAVE
Daily $5 Starbucks trips
Panera...because now they deliver
Wall décor from Francesca’s
Trader Joe's
Gas
Boozie brunch
7 for 27 sale at Victoria’s Secret
New bra to match 1 or 2 of the new pairs of underwear you just got.
Uber
Apple music subscription
New Kylie lip kit
Chipotle
TARGET (Just the whole damn store...I want it all)

Wow, after writing these 20 things I spend my money on from my bank statement, I realize how much of that money I could be saving. For an apartment when I graduate or, I don’t know, STUDENT LOANS!

I’m sorry, Mom, if you're reading this, but also thank you for not letting me starve and sending money after I have no money because I have spent it on the dumb things listed above.

Here is what I tell myself: “You have to do better. Stop spending your money!” I have even gone as far as hiding my card from myself so I don’t spend any money. But the truth is, I will probably spend my money on all the same things next semester.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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An Open Letter To My Broke Self

“You have to do better. Stop spending your money!”

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The world is not always sunshine and rainbows, and you do not have to be, either.

It would be so much easier to just pay someone to do it for you

1. Figuring out when to start

2. Searching through list after list to get everything you need

3. Shopping for deals

4. Getting bins to put everything in

5. Figuring what you can’t live without

6. Going through clothes to find what you need

7. Finding out your siblings took something from you

8. Fighting with your parents.

9. Trying to plan things with your roommate

10. The fear of forgetting something

11. Move in day

Relatable moments from one of the best shows I have ever watched.

1. When you fail that midterm you studied so hard for.

2. When your crush finally texts back.

3. When payday comes around.

4. When you accidentally like someone's picture from 108 weeks ago.

5. When someone takes your unassigned assigned seat.

6. When your favorite character in your favorite TV series dies.

7. When that guy/girl you’ve been crushing on agrees to go on a date with you.

8. When you have so much to do, and such little motivation to do it.

9. When someone asks for your last fry.

10. When you try a new health-food craze.

11. When you get new clothing.

12. When you check your bank account.

13. When they're serving good food in the dining hall.

14. When someone tries to tell you what to do.

15. Or just your thoughts about life in general.

We all have that "I don't care" attitude.

1. Most students just take life day by day.

2. That means procrastinating, one day at a time.

3. College students don't mind dressing like crap sometimes.

4. In fact, dressing nice feels weird.

5. College students get so stressed that they contemplate dropping on a daily basis.

6. But most find another solution to deal with that stress.

7. And that solution can be pretty cheap. Anything over $5 is expensive.

8. One of the only things college students will spend money on is coffee.

9. College is just really expensive and you never forget how expensive it is.

10. But hey, we're getting a somewhat high-quality education, right?

11. We all really just want to pet dogs all day.

12. And eat pizza for every meal.

13. And stab the next person who asks us what we want to do with our life.

14. However, despite the stress and student loans, college is amazing and there's plenty of reasons to smile.

Thank you, April, for inspiring us with your wicked relatability.

Life is full of twists and turns, but you have to keep going.

1. Wallow.

2. Cry.

3. Get Angry.

4. Tell Someone You Love Them.

5. Forgive.

6. Let go of the negative people in your life.

7. Be yourself.

8. Swallow Your Pride.

9. Stop Freaking Out Over Your Body.

10. Say No.

11. Accept Love.

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