Dear Boys at Parties,
I am willing to acknowledge that some of the things that I have to say in this letter are second nature to some of you. After my experiences at a party last night however, I am forced to face the fact that many of you don’t know how to act at parties where girls are concerned. We are all there to have fun. For some people this means drinking and for other this means dancing… whatever your poison by the end of the night everyone is ready to drop. Some people go out solely to go home with someone and those people are who I am writing to now.
Please, when you are at a party be respectful of the girls you are trying to dance with. There is a huge difference between walking up behind a girl with no warning and grinding on her, and asking her to dance with you. No girl wants to just suddenly have a random person rubbing his groin on her with no warning.
If you are trying to talk to someone and they keep noticeably avoiding you, walking away or actually appearing like they have to hide from you, you should probably stop. Body language never lies boys--if the girl you are talking to is frantically looking around the room for her friends, has her arms crossed over chest or is hunching over and looks like she is trying to be as small as possible then she is uncomfortable.
Keep in mind that when a girl turns you down it does not mean that she is a bitch--you don't have to make her feel badly about not being interested. And another thing to keep in mind, regardless of what we're wearing you are not entitled to our bodies. Girls don't get all dressed up for you; in all honestly we do our hair and makeup and pick our clothing based on what makes us happy. Just please don't forget that.
Last night someone walked up behind me and grabbed me by the neck in an attempt to put his arm around me and asked me how old I was. I was noticeably uncomfortable and he did not move for a moment. Then the stranger walked away and I went back to dancing with my friends but not one minute later I felt his hands on my hip trying to get me to go over to him.
I also had someone follow me around for at least twenty minutes and continually check on me throughout the night because he was one of the people hosting the party. Each time telling he walked over to me he told me that I should get a drink. Even if I hadn't said several times that I was fine and did not want to drink much his persistence might have made me feel a little uncomfortable. I’m sure that both of you are perfectly nice people in your everyday lives but at that party you made me feel very uncomfortable. Honestly, I believe that you and many other guys might not even know when you are making girls feel uncomfortable, so these are just a few things to keep in mind.