Someone said something today, and it was something that you would say, and I heard it in your voice. Boy, was it magical. I remember how you would laugh at things, and I remember your eyes, and how they lit up like fireworks. Those eyes could burn down a city. I remember the penny tint of your hair. I remember how you mocked me for it being longer than mine. I remember how you stayed up with me when all I did was cough all night. I remember how you stayed up and sung me to sleep every time my cough woke me up. I remember the coaxing of your voice as you sang me to sleep. I remember how you called me baby, and how your voice sounded when you said it. I remember the long texts, the long goodbyes. I also remember the short one. We had movie nights all the time, I loved those. We watched all these great movies, and that night was no different. You loved me, I loved you. We said goodnight, but I didn’t know that you would also count as my last goodbye. I got the message as soon as I woke up the next morning. Your mother made you do it. She saw my broken words in the conversations we had.

You said that I was using you as a crutch, I was too sad, and you didn’t want that anymore, but how else was I supposed to get back on my feet? I remember how you wouldn’t talk to me, even though you said we could be friends. We would never be friends again, and I think you knew that. I remember not being able to cry. I was so strong. You would have been so proud of me. I didn’t need anyone to hold me up. I did not need my crutches that day. I walked on my own. I was a big girl. I changed my relationship status, so I wouldn’t have to see it without your name. I changed it fast, and I kept my composure. My best friend called me moments later. He called, and before I managed a complete hello, he asked what happened, and I still did not cry. I told him what you said, and he said he was sorry. He invited me to hangout with him, and we walked around the mall, but I was cold. I was distant. My stars were taken from my sky, and I blamed you. But I did not cry, I did not use my crutches. My friend invited me over for dinner. I went to my second home, and I walked all the way there without my crutches. We walked to the garage, I was still going strong. As soon as we got inside, I crumbled. I didn’t have crutches to hold me up, and I fell into the arms of my best friend. I smeared me makeup, and hiccuped between sobs. I lost my crutches, and I had to learn to live without them. So I did. Sometimes I miss the support, it was always nice to have something to fall back on, but I know that I need to be strong without them. I think I knew it for awhile, I just couldn’t give up the support.

I no longer need my crutches now, and I hope you would be proud of me. I sometimes hope that you think of me, and everything we had, everything we lost.

We're older now. I am wiser, and I am better. I wish you could see what I’ve done, how far I’ve come. I wish you could see what you missed out on, because I know I am a great person, and I deserve great things. I am so much happier now, without you. And it took me a long time to realize I don't need to rely on you, or anyone for my own happiness. Saying goodbye was really hard, but finding my happiness made me realize that goodbye was the best thing to happen to me.