So...I guess it’s been awhile. More like a few months since the last time we talked. Let me start by saying I know this is, in part, my own fault. I could have picked up the phone at any moment to check in, but then again, you could have too. But we didn’t. And now it's been almost two years since we’ve had a genuine conversation. It’s hard to believe when we talk we have to have the forced “how’s college going” talk as if we don’t know each other. As if there wasn’t a point in our lives where we told each other everything.
Being honest, it sucks. It hurts to know that all we can talk about when to see each other are the memories we had in high school and things we used to do. I can’t tell you about my life now because I’m afraid you wouldn’t relate to it anymore. Or even worse, you wouldn’t like me for the person I’ve grown into. I’m sure you feel the same way. I see all your posts on Instagram with people I’ve never heard of, and that’s how I know we are living in different worlds.
I don’t know about your new friends or any boys you’ve talked to, or even how your family is doing. I’m jealous of the people you’re still friends with because they know all these things about you and I don’t. I don't get how you can still be so close to them and not with me. How we fell apart seemed slow but sudden all at the same time. It feels like one day we were texting about our new college classes, and the next I didn’t even know what your major was. I miss the intensely close, attached at the hip friendship we used to have because I realize now it’s hard to find. I wish I could fly over to your school and watch Netflix and catch up like we used to do all those boring Saturday afternoons back at home.
But I guess that’s the way things go. We all move on and change and the people we are now just don’t connect the way the old versions of us did. (I guess that Vitamin C song we sang at graduation was pretty accurate). But I hold none of that against you. I know that that’s how life is sometimes, I just wish it weren’t. I wish I had picked up the phone when I thought of you. I wish I didn’t justify not calling with the “we’re all busy” excuse. I wish I hadn’t let you walk out of my life the way I did.
I hope that everything’s going well for you and that you’ve found the type of people who understand you in a way that I don’t. I hope that you are genuinely happy with your life, even if I’m not apart of it anymore. I’ll always cherish the memories we had together, and I will never forget you. Even though the “forever” didn’t last, you were truly one of my best friends.
