It is no subtle notion that our society is in a chaotic state of movement. On news feeds and TV stations alike, we see horrible crimes in the name of racism, cries for equality, and people defending their existence, trying to prove they deserve fair treatment. Feminists, Black Lives Matter, the LGBTQ community, all making their voices louder and presence bigger.
Many people are finding that they do not fit into any of these sub-communities, and most likely, many will not relate. So why should any of these groups matter to you, if you are not a part of any minority? What if you have never seen any injustice, or do not know how someone outside a minority can help? What will any of these groups do for you?
This is venturing into delicate territory: how does one support a minority group without overpowering them? Before any movement can go forward, we need to recognize our privilege, and how we're using it.
Peggy McIntosh, a feminist scholar, went on this journey to see just how easy some people live. In one of her articles on white privilege, she points out 51 different scenarios in which she has been taking advantage of her blessing. Among them include:
“If a traffic cop pulls me over or if the IRS audits my tax return, I can be sure I haven’t been signaled our because of my race;”
“I can worry about racism without being seen as self-interested or self-sacrificing;”
“I can easily find academic courses and institutions which give attention to people of my race.”
Though McIntosh’s article deals with race, her points can easily be swapped with gender, sexuality, and class differences. Recognizing the circumstances in which you have no second guesses, or hearing experiences that have no burden on your life, is how we discern what privileges in society we do/do not have over others.
So, being an ally, then, is being a supporter. The fight is not about you, but you can make a difference for others.
I could go into intricate detail about specific actions we can take to be allies to those fighting for their rights (and lives), but they all boil down to one key verb: Listen.
If this is not your fight, do not make it your fight. Take a step back, and let them speak. This is not about you. Even a letter like this could be controversial, since it is for those with privilege, and I am being the loud voice. But on this note, those who want to be a supporter of oppressed people need to keep these next few points in mind before declaring themselves a proper “ally.”
Being an ally does not make you a savior. “Ally” is not a status symbol, but a movement in itself to let others take the reins.
Being an ally does not warrant a reward. You do not deserve special recognition or treatment for thinking morally.
Being an ally is a 24/7 effort. You cannot support groups when you feel like it, or when it is convenient. Prejudice does not get lazy, and crawling back into the comfort of your privilege is an insult to those continuing to fight.
Being an ally does not allow you to define experiences. With others in similar privilege, talking with them in solidarity can be beneficial and educational. Going outside that, though, you cannot tell others how they experience their lives, how they are treated, or if their beliefs are valid. It is your place to let others educate you, not to tune them out over the sound of your own voice.
Being an ally means taking accountability. Understand what your privilege does for you, what it is doing to society, and know that you are a part of that group. This does not mean you should be on your knees, asking for forgiveness from those oppressed; emotional support can only be received if others share your experience. “Thoughts and prayers” is a polite gesture, but it does not get anyone anywhere. Take accountability of your privilege as educational; what can be done to better the scenario, what power do you have to help mend it?
The word “ally” has been thrown around for so long that it has become more detrimental than supportive. An ally is not just having a friend in a minority, or a term you give yourself to feel like certain actions are not your fault.
Listen to others, let them talk, hear their stories.
