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Hey Admissions Office, Pick Me!

What we wish we could have written for our admissions essay.

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Hey Admissions Office, Pick Me!

As the graduating class of 2016 at every high school around the country begins to apply to their dream colleges, let's all take a moment and remember having to write those annoying and totally self-centered admissions essays. Talking about what an amazing person we are and how involved we are in both school activities and the community ... all while being a straight-A student, of course.

Because none of us wanted to graduate from high school and end up working at a McDonald's for the rest of our lives, we told ourselves that it would all be worth it. Put on a fake smile and write why we are the best choice in only 650 words (which is impossible.)

Since we can all say that we made it into college (the best college out there, I might add), here is a totally honest admissions essay we all wish we could have sent when we were applying for college.

Dear Admissions Dude or Dudette,

I'm supposed to be writing this essay telling you why I'm the best fit for your college. But really it's because my mom has been telling me to fill out my college applications for a few months now and your deadline is in a few days ... so here it goes. I know I'm supposed to tell you that I'm in the top 15 percent of my class, how I'm in every club possible on my campus and how I do community service non-stop because, well, I love my community. But because I know you read thousands of essays every year and are probably judging me because I wrote dudette (which i guess isn't a real word) in this essay, I'll save you the trouble and just tell you that I need to get in to college, so I don't end up a hobo on the street.

High school is cool and all, but I need to get out of this city. I need to meet new people and experience new things. Come on, you have to understand my pain, I've been going to school with these people I call my peers since pre-school! If anything, my applying to your school has to be the best thing to happen to you because, well, I am pretty awesome. I'm not a horrible student, I've gotten As and Bs every year with maybe one or two Cs on my transcript, but I can bring so much more to your school. For example, I'm a great procrastinator. What professor doesn't love to see their students crack under pressure? I'm also a very good bike rider, so you don't have to worry about me running over another student, possibly sending them to the hospital. I'm good at reading too, so if I'm called on in class, I won't freeze up in front of everyone (hopefully). These may not seem like amazing talents to you, but trust me, they are. My mom even says so.

I don't have a horrible story to tell you about how I overcame an obstacle in my life, which then helped me realize that I needed to go to college, because my life is pretty boring. But that does show that I already have the determination to go to college without having my eyes "opened" to the world around me, which technically means that I'm smarter and more dedicated than the other applicant you just read about read about.

Well, bragging about myself is really awkward, and I'm humble (also a great perk). To wrap this up, I would like to say, I'm a likeable and honest individual who doesn't want to end up kicked out of my house because I didn't get into college. So, even though this isn't a normal admissions essay, pick me to become a student at your school, and I promise I won't let you down. At least I'll try not to ... But hey, I guess you'll have to accept me to find out.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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