Dear Dad,
Do you remember the Christmas mornings that I would rub the sleep out of my eyes at 6am and run screaming into your bedroom to jump on your belly? Do you remember the joy I would get seeing the big Santa-sized bites out of the cookies we made together (the bites that I now realize were yours)? Do you remember my Christmas jammies that I started to get embarrassed of when you brought out the camcorder? I wish I hadn't been embarrassed of those. Do you remember the excitement I'd get when you would make a special Christmas breakfast and that for once, you didn't have to go to work or even be on call? Do you remember the cards that I would make for you that were always a little less than beautiful artistically that you always set up on your night stand like it was your proudest possession?
I remember all of these things and more. And I hope I always will. Even though those days are over now, and I haven't even seen your face for the longest time, I am so thankful for those memories. I could be upset that no Christmas will ever be the sameas those were now that you're gone. But I'm not. Having to go through so many December 25ths without you has shown me a few things that I may have never learned otherwise.
Cherish every single moment that you have with your family, because you never know what could change or happen.
Every beautiful Saturday morning that the whole family is happily eating breakfast together and teasing each other is the most wonderful time of the week. Every time I get my sister to really really laugh with me is the most wonderful time of the day. And every quick hug or snuggle I get with Mom is the most wonderful time of the hour. And through all of the stress and finances and arguments on whether or not to turn the heater up, I will always remember that Christmas with them, my beautiful little dysfunctional family, is the most wonderful time of the year.
Love the little things.
A little house covered in a million Christmas lights, an oldie-but-goodie Christmas song on the loudspeaker in the mall, a new silly ornament for the tree, eggnog lattes with a friend, everything is a joy. Now that I look back on the old Christmases I used to have with you in my life, I realize that it was really all just little things that added up to make it beautiful. I can still make it beautiful, just with a few different little things.
Remember what this time of year is all really about.
This isn't the time of year to think of all the things that you wish you had or that you think you deserve to have, contrary to popular belief. This is the time to be so thankful for what you have, and show everyone how much they mean to you. To give and give until you can't give anymore. So instead of wishing that you were here, I wish you the very best, wherever you are.
So, dad, I wish you a very merry Christmas, and a happy new year!
