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An Open Letter To The Five Minute Bathroom Bestie

The most underrated influence in your life

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An Open Letter To The Five Minute Bathroom Bestie

Dear beautiful stranger,

I met you one night in a club bathroom. We were both intoxicated and could of easily passed by each other without saying a word or ever meeting. I guess that's the beauty in it though- your unfiltered, vibrant personality decided to grace me with your presence and your advice. I'm not addressing a certain individual because she comes in many different forms. Instead I'm addressing the general character. The stranger you unexpectedly bond with and create a momentary friendship with that can affect you for a life time.

This random and inappropriate stranger has a variety of types and personalities but always the same sweet soul:

There's the make up fanatic that insists on being your make up artist, which you drunkenly mistake for the best decision ever. This interaction usually results in dark, drawn on eyebrows, red lipstick and glitter. Always glitter.

Another classic is the alcoholic who oh-so-generously offers you her sparkly flask so you can drown away your sorrows in eight ounces of jack.

There's also my personal favorite, the self acclaimed psychologist that takes it upon herself to decipher your entire life story which you so willingly vent to her about. This girl is seriously the best because she just listens while you cry your little heart out as you tell her about your ex-boyfriend and that fake girl that gave you a nasty look when you walked into the bar. This personality also come in the form of the religious hypocrite praying over you while wiping puke from her own mouth.

Another great one is the mother. This is the woman who is obviously way past her glory years and shouldn't even be in this bar in the first place. However, her experience and wisdom is well beyond your own and her bar stories are almost too good to be true.

And last but not least is the all important DD. The sober stranger who hides from her drunken friends in the bathroom and is all too happy to help you fix your shirt that's falling down or hand you toilet paper from under the stall. This is the first one to volunteer to hold your hair up because your own friends couldn't even make it to the bathroom.

All in all, here's to the underrated angels of the bar. No matter which type you are. The real heroes that make you laugh, care for you and make you feel better about your own life. Thank you for your service and friendship. May you always have vodka in your flask and lipstick in your purse.

-Much love, sincerely, drunk, and broken - hearted women everywhere

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