Dear 15-Year-Old Me,

Congratulations — you made it through middle school. I know those years sucked, especially seventh grade. I know you still feel lost after losing momma, but high school is going to be eventful, to say the least.

One good thing came out of middle school, though, and that's you learning to play the saxophone.

You are getting ready to meet the most amazing, strange, hilarious people you will ever meet. The band is going to be one of the best things you will ever do. I know that you're scared, but I promise you will never regret it.

I wish that I could say that high school is going to be nothing but happy memories — don't get me wrong the majority of them are — and they are mostly from band and Friday nights. You are going to learn some valuable lessons though and they will be tough, but you can handle it. I promise.

I know you think you can't and I know you think the world is against you right now. You are going to learn that some people really aren't your friends and that guys lie. Boy, do they lie.

I wish that I could go back in time and tell you everything I know now, warn you about certain people and certain situations. But I can't have you go through these experiences because they are going to teach you important things and lead you just to where you need to be.

I also wish I could tell you that you were done with heartbreak but you aren't, there will still be heartbreak in the future and pain. Oh, how I wish I could take it away for you, so you could be the typical happy freshman and just a happy teenager. I also wish I could say that the pain of momma passing lessens and in some ways it does, but you will still have days where you won't want to leave the house or even get out of bed. I also know you are under so much pressure already and you feel you have to be perfect all the time. You don't. Everything is going to work out and be okay I promise.

I also know you have picked up on a very bad habit and I wish I could tell you to quit, but I know that won't do any good. Because people told me the same thing. I promise you though that you don't need it. You are so much stronger than you think you are and you are going to help so many people one day. You are going to do things you never thought you would do. You are going to face so many fears and you are going to grow into a strong, independent woman. So enjoy the next four years, they will suck and they will be great and graduation will be here way too soon. But let me tell you a little secret after graduation, the best four years of your life will actually start and the greatest thing that will ever happen to you.

Sincerely,

20 year old me