I have been engaged for almost a month now, and considering that the wedding is a mere eleven months away, my fiance and I have really had to kick into wedding-planning gear almost immediately after the engagement to make sure things turn out perfectly. One such issue of controversy is the notion of an open bar at the wedding after-party. While my fiance and I are on the same page about what we think is best, there is apparently a whole slew of people that consider newly-wed couples to be cheap or otherwise rude for not having an open bar at the after-party.

My fiance and I have decided that we are not having an all-night open bar at our wedding after-party, and that’s okay.

It doesn’t make us rude or cheap. It just means we have certain priorities about our day and making sure everyone can drink to their heart’s content is not one of those priorities. Of course, there will be alcohol served and our guests are welcome to pay for it themselves.

Our wedding after-party is a celebration of our marriage, not an excuse for guests to get drunk.

If your high point of going to a wedding is an after-party with an open bar and not the fact that your loved one is getting married, you should probably rethink your priorities.

I’m not slamming anyone who chooses to have an open bar at their after-party. If that’s what you want to do, then that’s awesome! Go you! But it doesn’t make you an inherently better or more courteous host than those who choose to not have an open bar at their after-parties. It’s fine to enjoy drinks with friends and family, but I’m a busy bride-to-be, and I have a lot more to think about than how much alcohol everyone wants to consume.

To be quite honest, we’ll probably have an open bar happy hour if we can afford it, because as a college student who enjoys Guinness just as much as the next guy, I get that it's nice to have a drink at an event that conventionally condones drinking. Most of our bridal party can legally drink, and I get that many of the adults braving the after-party after the wedding deserve a free drink or two.

However, a singular hour out of a three or more-hour party versus paying for everyone’s alcohol all night are two very different things. It may be convenient to have an open bar all night these days, but for a young couple with different financial concerns to think about, an all-night open bar is an expensive stretch, and we’re not bad hosts for choosing to invest in other aspects of the wedding.