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Online Dating - the Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Just like a coin has two faces to it, online dating has a good and a bad side to it as well.

Jan 16, 2020

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Online Dating - the Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Valentine is just a few weeks away and the couples have already started the preparations to make it special. You, including me, are going to witness the new love blooming around you while some are again going to celebrate this year with their baes, *sighs*. But don't you worry you are going to find it one day as people fall in love in mysterious ways.

Yeah, I just quoted Ed Sheeran. But it's true; who knows you are going to meet someone online and it clicks right away.

Online dating that was once considered as the stigmatized activity is now a most adopted one. People who are getting familiar with the idea of online dating are actively giving it a try.

But is this what we are looking for?

People meeting online and getting married is this a positive development or do we need to be concerned? Most importantly, is online dating sites making the "love-hunt" effective or something important is being sacrificed?

Meet Your Match without Paying for Drinks

One of the things that amuse me about online dating is that you don't have to buy drinks to initiate a conversation. Being single when you are at a bar or a club, you will have to pay for your as well as someone else's drinks and snacks. Still, this doesn't guarantee that you will actually meet someone of your liking. With online dating sites, you have multiple options right in front of you to find your perfect match and that too without emptying your pocket. All you have to do is to find your fit and say "how you doing?" and see where it takes you.

Easier to Break the ICE

Online dating profiles have so much to say about a person and hence make it easier to break the ice, which unfortunately is not the case in personal meetups. Let me share an incident that happened to me last year. One night in a club I met a pretty girl and after exchanging drinks I thought it's going good until she took a cigarette and offered me one. All the thoughts of being with her just vanished away. No offense, but I don't want my girl to be a smoker.

Only if I have met her online, I would know her interest and smoking habits. I believe it's easier to establish a common ground with someone right away.

You see what you want to see

Though I'm personally in favor of online dating, I can't ignore the bad side that liars are everywhere. There's no guarantee that people are uploading their right profiles. They might be lying about their interests in their hobbies, anything is possible. Just to lure you into a relationship, there's a high possibility that daters are faking their identity. By merely seeing their profiles, you can't be sure if the person is right for you or not.

Like fake profiles on social media platforms, we might be interacting with a non-existent person or what is of more concern is falling for them.

What if you are dating a Psychopath?

You can never know if the person is the same kind-hearted, generous and loving in person as he seems on texts or calls. You never know until you personally spend some time. He/she may be having some anger issues, or even worse might be a criminal. And that's the reason I always rely on meeting people first before judging their personality. Plus you have to meet a few times to know a person. I just remember this quote of Dexter Morgan, "I'm quite sure more people fake an awful lot of everyday human contact. I just fake all of it." The same can be happening on dating sites as well.

You can become a Money Mule

Until a few days ago I had no idea about this ugly side of online dating in which the real people looking out for love are falling victims to frauds. One day while surfing the internet I went through the story of a dating scam victim Edwena Doore (2016) who was jailed for around five months in the conviction of laundering $700,000 in addition to her own money that she lost during her relationship to a person named Kenneth Bruce. What's shocking was she met Bruce on an online dating site and even after warnings from police, she kept her relation going. This led her into laundering money and hence landing herself in jail. People say love is blind and this story is solid evidence of that.

How do you Avoid being Scammed?

Giphy

You don't want to get stuck with someone who's involved in criminal activities or isn't a real person. So, how can this all be avoided? One thing that could turn all this around in everyone's favour is verifying the identity of every person when creating an account on any dating website. The banks do this to ensure that no bad actors enter the financial system. Online dating could also use KYC verification to ensure safety. This can be done by using real-ID documents for KYC verification. This will surely help mitigating online romance and dating scams.

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Recommended for you

Online Dating - the Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Just like a coin has two faces to it, online dating has a good and a bad side to it as well.

In This Article:

Meet Your Match without Paying for Drinks

Easier to Break the ICE

You see what you want to see

What if you are dating a Psychopath?

You can become a Money Mule

How do you Avoid being Scammed?

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The struggles of having an RBF are all too real

1. People asking if you're mad at them.

2. Those people who hand out flyers don't always try to stop you.

3. Creepy guys telling you to smile.

4. "I thought you were a bitch when I first met you."

5. People telling you you'd be "so much prettier if you smiled."

6. Doing your makeup and looking great, which somehow intensifies the bitch face.

7. Regularly explaining "it's just my face."

We all go through certain stages when we have a crush, Tina just explains it better.

That moment that someone you never looked twice at suddenly makes you do a double take out of no where.

But you can't have a crush, that's outrageous. It's all in your head.

Because you don't have a crush, there's no reason to tell anyone about anything. Right?

But then they do something irresistible and you start to lose it.

Now accepting the fact you have a crush, you have to keep it under control.

Then there's the part where you tell your friends who will claim they called it.

They'll be excited and cheer you on. That's until they realize that your crush is all you'll be talking about.

Your obsession has become so bad, that your Facebook stalking is getting out of control.

But your friends will try and help move things along any way they can. That doesn't mean it will be any helpful though.

As time goes on, you start having fantasies about the two of you and it's starting to scare you a little.

You can't focus on anything because all your attention is on them and everything they do.

Anybody who comes near your crush is now an enemy, and you are willing to fight for your crush.

When you see them, you act like an idiot. Trying to hide your feelings may not be as discrete as you think.

Keeping your feelings inside will start to be harder and harder until you can't keep it inside anymore.

Who knows, maybe it will work out? Take a chance.

Everybody hurts sometimes.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

What about those of us who don't do it all in four years?

1. You feel like an elder.

2. You may feel lonely.

3. Senioritis is more real than ever.

4. You may feel a little down sometimes.

5. Fear of missing out won't be as real.

6. You are a college pro.

7. You'll have more free time.

8. You're happy you're still in school.

9. You feel like a guru.

10. You continue to grow.

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