I want to say thank you to the ones that stuck around during this awkward time in our lives. I know we all are growing up and have busier lives now, but i still truly believe that it isn't that hard to send a text message to see how someone is doing...its simple "how are you" three words that's it. If you have only made it this far and you are feeling guilty about it..then you are probably one of the people that doesn't ask me how im doing.
It's hard to go through life with depression and anxiety and not having really anyone to talk with about it because no one cares to listen to you! No one listens to you because it's not convenient for them or relevant to their "busy" lives so they just simply don't care.
I always hear people saying "anxiety and depression aren't real, it's all in your head." i just want to point out that it's not made up, it's a real thing and people struggle from it everyday!
I often find myself wondering why my friends are even friends with me, because i don't consider myself to be pretty like them because i'm not skinny like they are. All of my friends are beautiful, and i always am wondering how i got such gorgeous friends. I wonder these things because i have always been known as the not so pretty friend of the group by other people. I have definitely had some struggles throughout my life with this entire situation. I am the girl most guys just talk to so they can get to my friends, it really sucks. Especially if one of the guys you have always had a crush on doesn't want anything to do with you but wants your best friend. I have struggled with my weight for a while now, and the reasons for that are because i just gave up all hope for myself and didn't really care anymore because i would never be as skinny as my friends all are.
Recently i have changed a lot in my life, i have gained some confidence and i have been trying to better myself! Even though my life seems to be going great, I still struggle every single day with anxiety.
I know from experience...that with depression and anxiety comes loss of friends..and at this point in my life, it's not going to get any better for me, so i guess this is the normal?! I mean that's fine with me you don't want to stick around and help me through my dark times then there is the door see ya later, i'll even hold the door open...BUH BYE!
This isn't going to stop me from doing me and bettering myself and doing what helps me! I could care less if you are here to support me or not because I have plenty of other people. Since I started this new journey I have met some seriously amazing people that have helped me every step of the way! Girls that don't judge me for the way I look, but ones that are here to help me! Ones that support me!
Since i have started this journey i have been going on runs/walks and eating healthy. At first it was hard for me to stop eating all the things i was use to eating on a daily basis! Okay okay okay, yes i still sometimes slip up and have an occasional day where i just need a snack, but it's okay because I know now how to control the cravings!
I have never felt comfortable enough to even think about showing my stomach a little bit especially in the summer at a beach, but after all the hard work I have been putting in, I feel very confident in this bathing suit i just bought and it's all because I have been watching this one amazing women's story!
I want everyone to know they are not in this alone, there is always someone to talk to, and that someone is me, I don't care if I don't know you, if you are struggling in anyway shape or form don't hesitate to reach out to me! I am always here!