About a month ago was New Year’s Eve, so of course, I was thinking about how 2015 had come and gone so quickly. I was reflecting on all of the amazing things that happened to me, and of course, all of the bad. As I was doing so, one thing kept coming to mind: the presence of social media. With social media in my life, it took all of my bad moments of 2015 and made them worse. It also took all of the amazing moments of 2015 and didn't make them bad necessarily, but they could have been even better without social media. I decided to try giving up social media for one whole year to see the results. This will hopefully all make sense in one moment when I break down the reasons that lead to me ditching social media for a year.

Let’s first backtrack to what determines if a website is considered social media for me. The answer to this is simple: if the website is something I use to connect with my peers, then it is considered social media, yet if the website is solely used for inspiration or ideas then I didn't consider it social media. For example, Snapchat, Instagram and Facebook were all sites that I used regularly to scroll through and see what was happening in my friends’ lives, and to post the occasional picture of what was happening in mine. On the other hand, Pinterest, YouTube and blog sites all fall under the non-social-media category. I don't use these sites to stay in touch with anyone, therefore, they stay. Now that we have that covered, let’s move on and get down to the real reasons why you are here: why I took down my accounts.

If the relationship is important enough, it doesn't need social media to keep it going.

With Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram, it is always so useful when it comes to staying in touch with all of my friends and family that live far away. Believe me, that is great, but it gets very tricky, and I came to a conclusion that it wasn't worth it. I can still call and text if I want to catch up, and the cons outweighed the pros of social media by a landslide.

As far as nearby friends go, I am a huge advocate of face to face communication, and social media really held me back from initiating getting together with friends to catch up. It gave me a false sense of connection in the relationship. I subconsciously told myself that I already knew what was happening in that individual’s life and there wasn't really a dire need to get together. However, in reality, it was most likely very far from the truth. I use social media to filter my life by only posting the things I want others to see about me. I am almost positive everyone else does this too. So in reality, I have no clue of what people are actually going through, and I miss huge opportunities to be in real, authentic relationships. We are designed to be in each other’s presence and social media was a huge hindrance to me personally. I owe it to my friends to make that intentional effort.

I was constantly accessible.

I am an introvert and an extrovert which means that I get energy from being around people and being by myself. It really just depends on the day. When I was in an introverted mood it was very hard to find the peace and quiet I needed when I constantly had Snapchat notifications streaming into my phone. A simple fix to this issue might be to just turn my phone off, but I find music therapeutic and all of my music is on my phone.

It became too much to have people always messaging me. They always seemed to know what I was doing. Even when I was intentionally alone, I still wasn't alone. Always being accessible wasn't a big issue until I wanted to relax, and I was never able to fully do that because of constant notifications.

If there was something that I really needed to know about then my friends and family know how to reach me over a quick text. If it wasn't important then I wasn't worrying about other people’s issues they had that they posted about on a status update.

F.O.M.O.

For anyone that doesn't know what F.O.M.O is, it is an acronym for "fear of missing out." As an 18-year-old girl, I still have a lot of insecurities I need to work through. One of the major issues I am dealing with right now is this contagious, destructive disease of F.O.M.O. I am always curious if there is something I am not invited to. The easiest way to snoop is to quickly scroll through your feed. Anyone who is even half of the snoop that I am knows this. Once I find out that I wasn't invited to something my first reaction is that the person absolutely hates me, and I was too oblivious to notice. It almost becomes a challenge to prove to myself that I was right and that my friends don't like me if I am not invited to something. In reality, that is so far from the truth. There is no contract I made my friends sign that said, "Thou shalt invite me to all social events where one or more is gathered," so why do I act like I did? It is completely acceptable if people hang out together without me, and I need to remind myself of this. Some days I am better at accepting this than other days.

So what can I do to prevent myself from being hurt? I don't let the source of unhappiness in my life. I only find out unnecessary information that will make me sad if I let myself. I am in control of what I let myself see and social media just wasn't helping me beat the already negative thoughts that flood my brain.

Comparison Games

How many times have you seen a child perfectly content with an amazing toy until a sibling or friend shows up with another toy? Even if the toy that the friend has isn't even remotely as exciting as the toy the first child has because the friend is having so much fun with their own toy, the toy they have isn't even remotely as fun as it was before. They want the excitement that the different toy is giving their friend. A few moments before they were perfectly happy, but now they aren't content with what they have, thinking that the friend’s toy is better even though it isn't. All that they can think about is what they don't have now, rather than what they do.

I have definitely felt this way, not for another person’s toy, but for that person's friends, clothes, and life. Going back to what I touched on before, their lives are quite filtered on social media. So while their friends might go out and do fun things together, they might not have the close relationships that so many people want. There might be backstabbing and unable to trust in the relationship that I don't see through a computer screen. While I don't get out as much with my friends, I am still blessed to say that I love the relationship I have with every one of them. I am always fairly confident with my clothes until I see that someone else has something a little cuter, or more expensive, or name-brand that I don't have. So why would I put myself through that if little to no good came from it? I finally figured out the answer: I never live in the moment.

Being Fully Present

I was never able to be fully present in a moment. Every time I would go to dinner with a friend I was constantly tempted to check social media if the conversation died. What happened to stumbling through the awkwardness? It's natural and human. It's how relationships develop. I rob myself from amazing conversations and opportunities to learn and grow because I can't put down my phone for an hour.

I wanted to challenge myself to take in more of my surroundings when I was in a new place by myself, instead of keeping my eyes down looking at my screen pretending that I had friends who were constantly texting me. Like that is realistic anyway. I wasn't fooling anyone, and we all know you do it too. Sure, it’s awkward when I don't know what the heck I am doing in a new place, but that is all part of the experience. There is so much more that I can learn and explore and see if I am not constantly using a phone as a social crutch. I decided it was time to test out my legs again and walk a little without the crutches I thought I would die without.

All of these points I have made are things that I personally struggle with. Some people do know how to balance their lives and relationships with social media in them, but I just simply wasn't able to do. I was brave enough to take the step and see what would happen without social media for one whole year. If you think you have some of these same issues, I challenge you to do the same thing for a short period of time and maybe learn something new about yourself.