Dating? What is it really and how does the meaning vary from person to person? It’s all too simple and all too complicated at the same time. There are two versions of this word that comes to mind: “Godly Dating” and “Casual Dating”. I cannot confirm nor deny what you’re thinking, but I can openly and freely guess that everyone has similar definitions in regards to both.
Godly Dating, in my own terms, means not casually dating person to person after each break-up. It means not dating anyone at all until you meet your soul-mate. Once you two meet, you date exclusively and marry at some point. This is common among many (not all) Christians. The phrase “waiting until marriage to have sex” is correspond in this belief. Let me be the first to say there’s nothing wrong with this method. The concept of dating is a difficult one and it varies so much within a matter of a few years. The customs change. Rules change. It’s understandable why to wait for “The One”. It’ll save time and hassle. Nothing wrong with that all. People who claim this way of life gets applause. Not many people can do it. And do it wholeheartedly.
Casual Dating begins with a first date between two people (usually in their early teen years). They couple may continue to date for as long as their relationship lasts (which again depends on the couple). If they break-up, they’ll most likely move on to date someone else. The cycle continues until the couple marries. Even then, there are no promises. Divorce is still, and always, a possibility. This can happen among the Godly Daters as well. Anything can happen. Nothing is perfect nor is it guaranteed. This point is that one way is not better than the other. People may prefer one over the other and have their own personal rant about the other, but one way isn’t superior to the other.
The method you choose may depend on your own upbringing. If you were raised in a strict religious home than the Godly Dating method may be the one that you were steered to once you’ve reached “dating age”. This can vary as well. Some household recommend the Godly Dating, but will accept what their offspring choose to do since it’s their lives to live. Others will be for Godly Dating or no dating at all. On the other hand, if you were raised in a household that allowed Casual Dating, then that’s probably what you did since no one steered you toward anything else. Once again parents eventually come to the realization that their offspring will do what they want sometimes (...even oftentimes). There’s nothing to be done. Mistakes will be made. Lessons have potential to be learned...or ignored. Life is life.
What kind of upbringing did I have. My upbringing is the Christian household. I was taught to not date around and instead wait for my soul-mate to come. What do I believe? I believe that’s a excellent method to life, but it’s not one that I would choose for myself. I never had the chance to openly date like I wished when I was younger. I was focused on my academics anyway, but that’s not the point. The choice wasn’t mine. I didn’t make it. I think the Casual Dating, which may sound dirty to some people, sounds interesting to me. The concept of people are willing on in a cycle of meeting, dating, break-up/ life-long commitment is one that baffles me deeply yet it’s strangely intriguing. When I think long enough, I can start to see the appeal. It could come across as exciting. You never know what’s going to happen. It’s unpredictable. However, it can get monotonous have your social life be a stark comparison to bees with flowers. Bees go from one little pretty flower to the next pretty little flower. Humans often to the same with courtship. I may not have dated, but that in all that time I haven’t, I’ve been observing. The bee and flower metaphor sums up the human condition on this matter accurately. I realize that my views can be contradicting, but like I mentioned before, the notion of dating is a difficult. It’s simple yet complicated all at once. I’m not against one nor do I think one is superior. Honestly, if I ever became a parent, I’d educate him/her on both, and let them decide which one they’re more comfortable with. Human beings are selfish creatures. We do what we want. Whether we choose one or the other, it’ll be ultimately our choice. Ain’t life grand?
