We all know that one trope where the father of the family must leave for an extended period of time. As he's about to leave, he turns and places a hand on his young son's shoulder and says gravely, "Take care of the family, son. You're the man of the house now."
Right. As if the mother of the family isn't right there with them, hearing every single word that comes out of her husband's mouth. As if her husband didn't just imply that a mere kid will do a better job of holding the family together and keeping things afloat than a grown woman will.
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We've become so used to this trope, the passing of the baton from one man to another, the beginning of the boy's journey into adulthood. And that's perfectly fine: maturing from childhood to adulthood is one of the most popular and common themes in literature. There's nothing wrong with implying that the young boy left behind will now begin to grow up under the weight of responsibilities.
But what always rubbed me the wrong way about this trope was the fact that the mother is usually completely ignored. Sometimes the father explicitly tells his young son to take care of his mother (and sisters, if there are any) in his absence. Which is a nice thought, yes, but why on earth would you entrust the well-being of a grown woman to a little boy barely out of his preteens? (And, mind you, most of these boys are usually very young. Most are under twenty years old.)
The notion that women need to be protected is nice. I'm sure the father meant well when he told his son to look after his family. I'm sure everyone just wants each other to be safe.
But why ignore the women of the family's ability to take care of things themselves?
Realistically, once the father leaves for war or whatever duty calls him away from home, it will be the mother who steps up and keeps the family functioning. It will be the mother who cooks, cleans, keeps the children in line, deals with finances, and perhaps even get a job herself to support the family. It will be the mother who protects and ensures the well-being of her family, not some little boy who still lacks the experience and wisdom required to make good decisions. The gender of the kid doesn't matter, really. The issue is, why dismiss the abilities of a grown woman who has given birth (one of the most painful things ever, according to several mothers) and survived to adulthood in favor of the near-nonexistent abilities of a kid to handle everything?
Hey, college freshmen are 18 or 19 years old and most of us have no idea how to adult. How do you expect some kid to know?
There's a good chance I'm overthinking this. The trope's been around forever, and it probably originated from a time when women had less freedom than they do now. It may have been created in a time where children were expected to work and make money just like the adults. But the thing is, our world is different. We all know today that women are capable of a great many things, thank you very much. So maybe it's about time we did away with that trope in modern films and books.
