*Spoilers. Do not read this if you haven't seen the most current episodes of "Game of Thrones"*
After a full year of waiting and anxiety-ridden fan theories, the first episode of the sixth season of "Game of Thrones" premiered last night on HBO (or, more accurately, your brother's girlfriend's cousin's roommate's aunt's HBO GO account). I think I speak for the majority of the fan base when I react to this first episode with one word:
What?
HBO, listen. I and millions of other fans have been in literal agony for the past year because we've reached a beautiful cross where book readers like myself and TV show watchers are on an even playing field. In a way, George R. R. Martin's inability to finish a book that may or may not start with "Winds" and end with "Winter" has brought this sometimes polarized fan base closer. Which is something we all wanted deep down.
But not like this. Too many questions were asked at the end of season five and little to no questions were answered. Really only one question was answered.
...oh. Rest in peace the most innocent love this show has ever seen.
Besides a rather brutal homecoming for the Lannisters, the rest of the episode was just skipping from one "What?" to another "What?" Allow me to explain:
The episode started off the only place it could have after months of seeing Jon Snow's dead/alive body on every inch of promotional material; the Wall. Ser Davos, who everyone kind of forgot was there, finds Jon Snow's body and is very much like:
Get with the times, Davos. Everyone already knew that Jon got stabbed umpteen times by his peers. So what's happening with Jon? Aren't you gonna burn his body, atypical Night's Watch custom, to avoid a possible Wite Walker attack, or are we gonna call in Melisandre to do her freaky birth magic and fulfill her Azor Ahai prophecy? No? Oh, we're...we're just gonna leave the Wall now? What?
We're in Braavos, time for Arya kick major House of Black and White butt. Waitloljk Arya's just gonna sit there and be blind for five minutes before getting whacked senseless with a stick from crazy bowl cut girl. What?
Wait, wait, wait, here we go! Tyrion and Varys are in Meereen, where they were left in charge after Dany quite literally took off. Both of them have such a rich history in using their words to gain power, so this should be fun to see them go up against the violence that the Sons of the Harpy have been spreading across the land. Wait, what? That's all we get? A quick stroll and chat and then you're gonna end with the ships catching on fire?
I'm (not) fine. Really.Even the most intense moment of the entire episode, Melisandre's, uh, "reveal," left the fans in more of a confused "...what?" state than one that makes us feel whole after waiting, once again, an entire year.
Not to say there weren't any good "What?" moments: Brienne of Tarth, fresh of Star Killer Base, coming out of literally nowhere to save Theon and Sansa from Ramsay Bolton with the help of a now-sword wielding Podrick? What? Daenerys setting a Khal straight by being a badass?What? Even more of the Sand Snakes spreading havoc and making their way to Kings Landing?
Overall it was a very informative episode. But in the end, it just seemed like more questions were asked and more wounds were ripped open (see: Ellaria Sand doing just that on what we all thought was going to be a decline in her