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To The Bathing Suit I Have A Love-Hate Relationship With, Here's One-Piece Of My Mind

Why do you have to be like this.

Kate Moore

Jul 16, 2018

University of Connecticut

140

Kate Moore

I spent my money on you. All $37.00.

The changing room lied to me. It told me you were so loyal. That's not how things played out to be.

Maybe if I was going for the, "I am a hooker" look, the match would be made in heaven! But, I am not, and that will not ever be the look I am going for.

Wearing you in public only works if I prepare to get stares from the moment I walk out of my car.

What really ticks me off the most is the way you inch right up my butt...as if you belong there.

Personal Kate Moore

You make everyone look at me. I might as well go naked!

I haven't even begun about the side-boob action you make me have. WHY would you think this is appropriate? I am not sure if I am madder at you or the company for producing such a swimsuit.

Can we just call you lingerie?

Personal

Like really, now!

My mom hates you.

More than anything in this world. If she could burn you in a fire pit, oh hell, she would!

But, with all bad comes some good.

Thanks for letting me dive into pools without my top flying off. Or allowing me to a read a book without getting loco tan lines. Thanks for being easily cartable and washable!

Other than that- You suck!

Xo- Kate!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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To The Bathing Suit I Have A Love-Hate Relationship With, Here's One-Piece Of My Mind

Why do you have to be like this.

In This Article:

I spent my money on you. All $37.00.

Wearing you in public only works if I prepare to get stares from the moment I walk out of my car.

Can we just call you lingerie?

My mom hates you.

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

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