When I signed up to climb Mount Fuji, I did not realize it was going to involve actual climbing, like actual hand-to-rock climbing.
You see, I have a pretty bad fear of heights. I can't walk near edges, am not a fan of those stairs with open space in them, and just general clamminess all around.
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Throughout my whole time in Japan I had heard the anecdotal "Japanese children climb Mount Fuji all the time," so naturally I thought if they could do it, I could, too.
It didn't hit me until I reached the first — let's just call it a "rock wall" because that's basically what it was — that maybe this endeavor would be a little harder than I thought.
I should also note that before this, I had even rented serious climbing equipment and reserved a sleeping bag in a mountain hut near the top. Not even then did I realize what I was getting myself into, and for that, I'm SO grateful.
If I had never climbed Mount Fuji, I never would have had the courage to change my major, pack up and move to a whole different city.
I climbed Mount Fuji with a good friend from high school. We spent our senior year talking about moving to Chicago, me going to UChicago and her to Northwestern, and how we'd have an apartment together and generally dreaming about the next few years of our lives.
I'll give you a little spoiler: neither of us ended up where we thought we would be, but somehow, both of us ended up in Japan — different cities but still Japan!
While we were climbing (but mostly resting), she told me that she had gotten accepted to one of her top choices for transfer schools.
She had been planning to transfer ever since her freshman year and it had been in the back of my mind, too, but then I had to opportunity to go to Japan so thoughts of transferring were put on hold. But that sparked something in me.
I realized that If I could climb this mountain, with my fear of heights, changing my major or even transferring would be a piece of proverbial cake.
As we made our way up the mountain and the path got tougher and tougher and I would inevitably go the wrong way and convince myself that this was it, this is where I lived out the rest of my days and died because I couldn't possibly find the right footholds to get to the next platform, I somehow always made it.
This happened again and again and again. Even if I would lose my grip, or the rock I stepped onto came loose, I would always make it up to the next stage.
Each time I thought that I was going to fall and die and then I didn't, I realized that hey, I can do this, even if I'm still as terrified as I was before, I can do it. I can do the scary thing because I can do things, afraid.
This philosophy led me to apply to the schools I had always wanted to go to when there were complications with trying to change my major. It led me to realize that I like communication and business and I want to study it even if it's not as safe as sticking with pre-med.
I'm writing this from a city I never thought I'd live in, going to a school I never thought I could get into, even writing for this organization.
My whole life trajectory changed with that simple realization, and I am sure that I might never have realized it if I didn't face my fears head-on.
Thank you to everyone who helped me get to where I am today, and I hope that you aren't afraid, to be afraid.
