Have you ever been in that frustrating situation where you can’t tell how a boy or girl feels about you? Maybe you’ve been hanging out or “talking” or even going on dates. Maybe it’s a friend who seems like they’ve suddenly become more interested in you. Maybe it’s just that cutie in your class who keeps glancing at you. It’s times like these where we want more than anything else to be able read minds, but sadly, we can’t (yet). However, I’ve got the next best thing that is 100 percent guaranteed to give you the answer you’ve been searching for!

So how do you figure out if they’re into you?

You ask them!

Yep, that’s it. You just ask them. I know you probably think I’m a troll, but hear me out on this.

At some point, dating turned into a game. It’s a ridiculous obstacle course of signals and hints and obsessive Snapchat story checking. It’s reading into every little thing a person says or does. And it’s made something that is supposed to be fun and romantic into something that’s stressful and infuriating.

We all like to think that we can tell whether or not someone is interested. It’s easy to start overanalyzing every word and gesture. But no matter how much romantic experience you’ve had, you’re never going to know for sure how someone feels unless you get it straight from the source.

There are all sorts of rules and signs that people like to throw around. They’re usually silly, things like “wait three days after the first date to call” or “take at least half as long to respond to their text as they did to respond to yours.” The issue, though, is that not everyone is going to follow these rules and not everyone is going to give off the same signs. Actions that may mean “interested” to one person may read as “uninterested” to another. It’s like we’re all competing in a huge chess match where the directions were lost ages ago, and we’re all just sort of making it up as we go.

The idea of confessing your feelings to someone is scary. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that it’s easy, because it’s not. Opening yourself up to another person and being emotionally vulnerable is a difficult thing to do. But here’s the secret: No matter what, it’s gonna be fine in the end.

The way I see it, confessing attraction to someone will usually have a slight variation of one of three results:

1. They feel the same way.

That’s awesome! What happens from here can go any number of directions. Maybe they want to date. Maybe they like you but just want to stay friends. Maybe they tragically move across the country and their disapproving mother intercepts all of their letters to you for years until you eventually meet again by some strange happenstance and romantically kiss in the rain. Regardless, it will probably feel really good to know that they share your sentiments.

2. They don’t feel the same, but they still want to be friends.

This isn’t the result we usually hope for, but the fact is, it might happen. While it kinda sucks that they aren’t interested, you still get to have them as a friend. And even if you wanted something more, they’re still going to be in your life, and that’s something you should be happy about. Plus, you probably made them feel good because it’s always nice to be liked. It’s sort of like giving them a compliment. They’ll appreciate it, and although things might be a little weird the next couple of times you’re together, it will most likely soon go back to how it was before. And who knows what the future may hold? They could change their mind. Or you could meet someone way better for you than they would have ever been. Somehow, it will work out as it was meant to.

3. They don’t feel the same, and they push you away.

Sometimes when a person finds out that someone they aren’t interested in has feelings for them, they cut that person off. I know that this result is the worst. If this happens, I’m sorry. It’s a crappy thing to experience. But what you’ll eventually realize is that a person like this probably isn’t someone you wanted in your life anyway. To end a friendship just because of an unrequited attraction is a signal of emotional immaturity. A person who does this is most likely someone who would have hurt you eventually. If this happens, it’s gonna suck, but before long you’ll lick your wounds, get back on your feet, and get back out there.

Personally, I’ve had every single one of these things happen to me. Although I’m not a necessarily confident person, I’ve somehow managed to tell most of the people I’ve ever had real feelings for how I felt. Through middle school and high school, I got rejected quite a lot. Since we were young and immature, it usually ended up with them pushing me away and not wanting to be my friend. Eventually, though, I found someone who felt the same, and we ended up dating for two years. Since then, I’ve repeated my habit of being up front with my feelings. Although most of the objects of my affection haven’t been interested in me, we’ve been able to move past the slight awkwardness, and they’re still some of my closest friends. It was a bit disappointing to know that they didn’t share my feelings, but it was the closure I needed to move on.

Maybe I’m unique. I’m sure that not everyone functions like I do. I guess my point is that the only definite way to make something happen is by going after it. If you stand by and hope that it will magically work out, there’s a large chance that it won’t. It’s all about weighing your pros and cons. If this is a person for whom you are willing to risk an uncomfortable situation for the opportunity to be with, then they’re probably pretty special to you. How terrible would it be to sacrifice a potentially wonderful relationship just because you were too scared to put yourself out there?

Rejection might feel like the end of the world, but I promise you it isn’t. It’s something that everyone is going to experience at some time or another, and it’s a chance to learn and grow. You realize how strong you are when you’re put in a situation where you can either crumble or rise, and rejection is just that. You have the choice to hide from opportunities or to seize them and risk failure. Why not go after what you want?

My message is this: Just do it. Go for it. Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. (Yes, I did get that from “A Cinderella Story”). It might be scary, and it might be hard, but it’s worth it in the end.

So tell that cutie from Bio 1100 that you want to grab coffee with them sometime. Tell your friend that you want something more than just friendship with them. Rent a billboard on the side of a busy road and plaster it with huge pictures of your faces surrounded by hearts. (OK, maybe don’t do that). Whatever your situation, just find your seven seconds of insane courage, and chase your dreams. If it doesn’t work out, I’m happy to be a shoulder to cry on and a provider of chocolate ice cream until you pick yourself back up. And if it does work out, I hope you find something special that makes you truly happy. If you don’t want to have a significant other, then go out and be a badass by yourself.

No matter what you want, take the leap, risk the failure, and make strides towards happiness. As a very wise bear once said, “You’re braver than you believe.”