There's only two kinds of people in the world; people who love boy bands and liars. Boy bands go way, way back, but being a 1995-er, I feel like I somewhat missed the true boy band era. NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, 98 Degrees, O-Town and we can't forget Hansen. Sure I listen to all of their songs still to this day and do I actually play these songs at real college parties? Well, I'm not going to lie and say no, but I think us 20-something-year-olds slightly missed that teen era of being obsessed with boy bands. Which brings me to my next point: One Direction.
I am a dedicated Directioner. Have I seen all of their X Factor performances? Absolutely. Do I own all five of their albums? You betcha. Did I react in the worst way when Zayn left? Bet your bottom dollar. Did I react even worse when they announced their hiatus? 100 percent chance I literally dropped to the floor.
I know a lot of other twenty-something-year-olds who feel the exact same way and I think we all can agree on one thing: WE ARE NOT TOO OLD TO LOVE THEM. Like I said, we missed the era, so why wouldn't we all fall in love with a group of men with tatted up bods (minus Niall of course) and the voices of angels??? I can't think of one good reason. But you know what I can think of? Lyrics that will prove I am not too old to be obsessed with them because their lyrics are DIRTY. Okay okay, we're not talking SoMo dirty, but they imply some things I personally thing parents of young girls should consider, and give other people enough reason to let me live my life how I want while listening to the musical choices I desire!!
Let's start from the earlier years.
In More Than This on the "Up All Night album," the boys (I say it like they're my friends because I think they are) sing, "when he lays you down I might just die inside." Hmm, not sure why anyone was being "laid down" but I don't think it was because they were tired. Interesting.
THEN, in the song "Up All Night," Harry, arguably the hottest and most irresistible of them all says, "People going all the way, yeah all the way." ALL THE WAY. Okay, Harold. Okay.
That's as about as raunchy as it gets the first album when they were still young and innocent and coordinated outfits, but shall we move on? I think so.
From their second album, "Take Me Home," ahem, we'll start with "Live While We're Young." At first, it just seems like a fun-loving song! Just hanging out with some friends! Normal things! Then BAM. They hit you with some, "Tonight let's get some and live while we're young." Oh boys, "some" what?
And there's "Rock Me." The title is just enough as is I think, but we'll analyze a step further. But where to begin??? "Under the moonlight as we stared at the sea, the words you whispered I will always believe... I WANT YOU TO ROCK ME, ROCK ME, ROCK ME, YEAH." Are. You. Kidding. Me. This should be labeled explicit content!!! I don't have children, but I would not let their young little ears listen to this craziness.
And then they really get into it on "Midnight Memories." This is when the boys became men, the album that changed it all.
Rightfully so, let's start with some "Midnight Memories." The line "stumbling in the street" says it all. Why were they stumbling? Were their shoelaces untied? Was there a lot of gravel on the road? I'm guessing no and no. I only know one reason boys their age stumble down the street and preteen girls do not need to be bopping their little heads around to it.
Quite possibly my favorite 1D song to date, "Little White Lies" is just a surplus of innuendoes I AM NOT TOO OLD TO LISTEN TO. "You say you're a good girl, but I know you would girl." Would what? "You wanna make some rules now cool, and we'll watch them break tonight. I know what you want and I've been waiting so long." Simmer on that. "Let's stop pretending that you don't know what I don't know just what we came to do." R-rated, am I right?
And then we have "Better Than Words" which honestly, I don't even know if I can get into this one because the whole thing is just... well... alright I'll give an example. "You make me wanna... how deep is your love?" AND THEN, "You make me wanna sss one more night." Need I say more?
Then there's "FOUR," the last time we were blessed with Zayn's vocals and the beginning of the end, but very well could be their best album. Is it any less dirty than the last three? Heck no. Because it has the most sexual song to date by them and everyone knows it. And if you've ever watched them on The Late Late Show with James Corden, you know how much James loves this song and loves to question the boys on what this song is about. "Waking up beside you I'm a loaded gun." I'm not joking. This is not a drill. That is the first line of the chorus. Am I mad about it? Nope. But don't worry, just a few lines later we have, "Taste on my tongue, I don't want to wash away the night before." Speechless. I'm speechless. This song is such a banger and every college kid who has heard it knows it.
In "Where Do Broken Hearts Go" they sing, and I quote, "Are you sleeping baby by yourself and are you giving it to someone else." I literally can't. I feel like if I haven't proven my point yet, these last two songs did the trick.
And finally, one last song from their most recent album "Made In the A.M.," which I am so confident will not be their last, everyone's favorite, "Perfect." "If you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms, and if you like having secret little rendezvous if you like to do the things you know that we shouldn’t do." Rendezvous in hotels are notable things they shouldn't be doing. Seems fairly innocent if you ask me...
I guess all I'm saying is, I don't think being a college student makes me too old to love me some One Direction... and that's that!