When I wake up all I do is look at the same things. Okay, I got this many hours of sleep. Well, I went to bed at this time makes sense. Why didn’t I go to bed earlier?
I check my phone and scroll through my notifications. Twelve Snapchats and five texts. Reply to all texts and be awake to Snapchat people back. Easy enough until it’s the one kid who won’t leave you alone. Ugh. I’ll reply to be nice.
Oh, it’s time for work. Well, I guess I need to take my meds. Another day, another dollar. I can do it. Oh, I gotta pack that I’ll take it on break. Birth control check. Anxiety meds, check. Clothes, check.
Food. Sometimes my least worry. I’ve learned I do work better if I eat at least a little. Brownie bites, maybe, sure why not, I’m out of my favorite granola bars until payday.
Work goes slow, but it’s work. Money is money I tell myself. I talk to customers and smile like it is my job. Oh wait, it basically is my job. People text me throughout the day and I occasionally reply when I can.
I get home and I crash on my bed. Computer work and working with customers, oh lovely. I am laughing at a stupid thing I did or the text I just got. None of my roommates are home. It’s okay, more time for me to relax.
Oh, it’s too late to take a nap well that’s unfortunate. Netflix until something really needs to be done. Not like my room is a mess. I just don’t have the energy. My bed is so comfy.
My mind is going a thousand miles a minute. What’s today? Oh, it’s Saturday. Payday is Thursday. Can I make it till then? My caffeine addiction says no. My pantry says no. Luckily, I am off tomorrow so I can relax.
Oh, you want to hang out with me? My stomach starts going into knots. I don’t know why but I just don’t wanna hang out. I’ll use the normal excuse. I’m sick. Always work. Okay well, that’s done.
What was I doing? Netflix and lying in bed. I bury myself under the covers and take a deep breath. My hair becomes messy and I open my snaps. Oh, why this kid?
Yes, I’m in my bed. It is my comfort place. Yes, I know what time it is. I don’t care. People don’t understand how comfy my bed is.
Thanks for the compliment of how beautiful I look today. I don’t feel it. I put a bow in my hair due to work and then some hairspray. You would be saying more if I had the energy to put on some makeup.
Food again. Ramen sounds great. Just the way someone makes it because obviously, I didn’t know how to make it the right way before. Ah Pepsi, my source of caffeine and energy. Oh, how I love you.
I look at the clock and sigh. Ten already? What have I done with my time?
I scroll through my phone more for another hour. Occasionally singing to some songs till it gets to about eleven or twelve at the latest.
I don’t work tomorrow, thank God. I need to relax and clear my mind a little. Some much needed sleep will be nice.
I take my night medicine and go to sleep. Hopefully the next day will be better.