Hmm I wonder what this is about...oh wait, I think I know! Yes, it's the classic and popular issue of how in the world/universe/everything else outside the universe do you get over someone? I've got an answer for you. I wish it was that easy. Through my own personal life experiences (some more painful than others), I have come to the conclusion that you never really just get over someone. Yeah you could try everything you can - binge watching Netflix, stuffing your face with your favorite ice-cream, throwing temper tantrums, biting all the selfless hands that have been feeding you forever, and blah blah whatever. And yet, you still don't really 100% forget...
As "encouraging" as this sounds, I'm delighted to let you know that the majority of you yourself can surely erase (about 99ish %) of that special someone who filled your life with a kind of happiness only you can understand. Now that other 1%ish would be, well, a simple memory in your head. Good news right? It is. Why? Because YOU are the only soul that has the power of choice to determine if those memories will be good, bad, or whatever you want them to be. If they're bad then of course you will definitely live a salty life of always thinking negative about all the things that went wrong. On the flip side, you could always turn around the situation around and remember all the good times and crazy amazing moments you shared together...which will henceforth make your life a ton bit sweeter. For goodness sake (fill your name in the blank) make the best freakin' lemonade you like with your life lemons! Here are my own personal guidelines to forgetting and finally FINALLY moving on.
PAUSE MY FRIEND. PAUSE YOUR LIFE FOR A SEC.
I don't care if you think you are the "baddest ________ in the world" or somehow connected to the superhero family lineage. You ain't either of those people right now. You need a ton of YOU time. Time to process. Time to really think. Time to cry. Time to listen to all those sad songs you reserved in whatever device you have for times such as these. Time to be pissed. Honestly. If you do not take this time to come to terms with what just happened, whoever that person was to you will consume your life in many ways - some of which you won't realize until later painfully.
TAKE THOSE CUTE BABY STEPS TO HEALING YOUR BELOVED HEART.
Before I say anything, know that when I said to "PAUSE YOUR LIFE FOR A SEC" that second was actually few days to a week if you really need that long. Now mind you, I'm only saying this because I think it's always good to allocate some kind of a "self deadline" for you to sincerely break down. After that time is up, trust me, I know your trial and tribulation isn't over because you're still thinking about him or her. I get it. And it's absolutely true that time heals wounds (it really does), but this step is crucial because it's a step in the right direction.
Moreover, this step isn't just unidirectional because it varies from person to person. For some it might mean stripping those sad blankets off the bed and hitting up Starbucks with a close friend or starting a passion of yours (whatever "it" is) or slowly disposing and un-friending and deleting pictures and texts...(fill in your name), you know what you need to do to erase this person from your physical life. Cut ALL contact and replace that void with people in your life who actually matter and have proven to you time and time again that you are truly special.
TIME TO LIVE LIFE AGAIN BOO! LIVE IT UP.
This is my favorite and final step to truly forgetting. Remember that 99ish% I spoke on earlier? Yeah that. After you had your own time to think, your time to slowly crawl out of hibernation and into the real world with people that love you, it's time to brush yourself off and get up again. Yes, we all fall. We fall for millions of reasons and I found losing someone is something I'm sure most of us (including myself) have had to deal with. Listen. This is the part where you really get to say I'm the baddest _________ here and that's that. It might take time (again, this varies), but at some point you will come to terms with the new and healed being you've transformed into. That's definitely a moment to pause and acknowledge on because it's such a painful milestone to overcome...but you can and you will.
My last words...
It's hard to remove the cloud that swirls in your head of the "what ifs" or "it was a time thing" or "he/she was having a moment" or "did this really just happen?" or...the list goes on, and believe me when I say I could listen a gazillion infinite number of excuses. EXCUSES. That's your worst enemy my dear. Trust me, I've been down that Trytoconvinceyoself Boulevard and it's not fun. You don't want to go there.
Do yourself the biggest favor - take time, lean on a loved one's shoulder and vent your heart out, and finally, get out of that sad life-sucking place and do everything excluding making time for that once-special person who used (PAST TENSE) to be in your life. One of my own personal lessons was that people change all the time and so do situations. You can't really control either of them (to some extent maybe), but you can't really have a grip on either of them. Come to terms with what just happened (you absolutely need to do this), take steps to forgive (both that person and your heart that allowed you to fall into this short-term abyss of living hell), and open your eyes to the world. There is so much more out there and this person was just one life lesson among those other annoying road blocks training you to be your own most amazing boss. You make that call. Realize that person was just a moment, a lesson, a glance... a once upon a time WHO?
