I look better with earrings.
And for fear of forgetting my
morning diamonds I
used to keep them in throughout the night.
And sometimes
all I used to feel was the pressure
of metal pressing into the back of my neck yet,
while I slept,
at least I looked pretty.
And perhaps that is why I hesitated
to push you away when
your teeth pressed against my neck
so hard like
cutting diamonds
I thought you might
draw blood.
You did always think I was pretty.
If I were reading this in front of you
I would never get past
stanza two without
your pleading eyes forcing me
to apologize for something
you did to me.
You blame me or
the moment,
the lack of light,
the energy the vibe you felt that night the drink
you poured for me.
I should not be so irresponsible.
It would not be the first time
you confused your knife of a tongue
for tough love,
and your hands for protection
while they smothered me.
When you tell girls their body is a temple
you do not mean it to
preserve and protect.
You mean it as if my body
is a place of worship built for you
to visit whenever
you need to feel grounded,
and maybe pushing me down
will keep your head on straight.
You can believe in God
and still, sin in His church.
But my love was never meant
to bring you peace.
I could have brought light
into your life like the rising sun,
but sadly that is a fire you
are never invited to feel.
Whatever it is you are seeking
I will not guide the way through your
woods of insecurity and hormonal rage.
My love is not fun sized for your convenience.
It will never fit into your pocket.
The way you tried to fit yourself in me
the way my earrings fit my ears
no longer.
It is blinding
and stronger
than you could ever imagine.
Certainly stronger than you.
I haven't worn earrings in months.
I just thought you should know.
