To preface this, I’d like to say that I’m not smart. In a lot of ways. But I can usually get a handle on things, even if it’s just rudimentary knowledge of any given subject. I may not give myself a lot of credit, but I’ll admit I’m probably more resilient than I should be. I may lose (and get rejected and fall on my face, etc.) a lot, but after a period of self pity and writing really bad poetry, I pick myself back up. Essentially, I bounce back.

Not so with math. Math is Satan’s preferred method of torment for me, keeping his protractor swinging ever so precariously above my neck. And look, I can do the basics. Addition, subtraction multiplication, division, I got it. But then the Devil throws a whole bunch of wacky bullshit at me. Statistics especially.

As I said earlier, I can get a handle on most subjects. English in particular, but history, science, philosophy and art fall in line just behind it. Further away, laughing at me while it burns both my tuition dollars and self-esteem, is mathematics.

It’s the only reason I hate liberal arts education. Because I have to involve math somewhere in my otherwise smooth GPA. It’s sort of like driving a car on a cross country road trip. Everything’s fine and dandy until I reach the midway point and find out that I have to drive the rest of the way with only two wheels and with a dead body in the trunk. Because now it’s illegal to drive sensibly.

That’s math for me. Everything’s fine. I’m doing well academically, then it rears its ugly head and slams a goddamn hammer into my skull.

Long story short, math and me don’t mix. I’m not saying liberals arts education is bad, but I hate how I have to study a subject that doesn’t make a lick of sense to me that ruins my perfectly average grades and whose content I will never reference at any point in my life. I’m a writer, not a mathematician.

Also stats can go f**k itself. You’re not even real math anyway.