Happiness is a word I feel I've thrown around too much in the past few years.
Yes, I have things in my life that make me so unbelievably happy that I can hardly contain it; I have late night drives to the Blue Ridge Parkway, I have trips to Waffle House and runs through the rain and the coffee shop down the street that makes the absolute perfect hot chai. I am a breathing, living, existing human being; and for that I am incredibly happy.
But happiness is a word that holds a lot of weight, and looking back on the past few years of my life I'm afraid I've used it trivially. "This makes me so happy!" accompanied by a cheerful giggle and most likely a bit of spastic dancing is an image that I have crafted for myself, created so that people associate me with happiness, with crazy cat prints and bad dance moves and the fact that I am always up for a cuddle puddle. But is it actually real?
Yes, I am a happy person. Matching every outfit with a pair of funky socks, giving people hugs just because, wanting to bring joy to others--these are all building blocks of myself, elements that form the cheerful person I am. I am not fake in the happiness in which I present myself, I am not a fraud in wanting others to have happiness too, however it is not all I am.
I am crafted of good and bad, and although my outwards happiness is what is most often seen, it is not all that exists. There are grey spots of sadness on my soul, growing and developing all the more every time I push them back, every time I smile and laugh with another exclamation of "Of course that's alright!", "I'm perfectly fine!", "This makes me so happy!" I sacrifice myself – I sacrifice my balance and my expression and my sanity– all to retain an image of myself that is only one part of who I am.
The end of my first semester of college is in sight, and with the beginning of a new year with new classes and new beginnings I've created one big resolution for myself: value my own happiness. If I'm having a bad day and need a hug I'll find someone who can give me that support, if I'm having a good day and need some time away from negative influences I'll take that for myself. I am going to work harder from now on to stop living in an online world and start living in a real one, to stop thinking about the future and start thinking about the moment. I know it probably sounds like a lot of talk, but I know I can do it. I don't know why exactly, but from somewhere deep in my heart, I can just feel myself beginning to understand who I am and what I need.
I believe you can do this too, to value your own happiness. Write it somewhere, write it everywhere, repeat it to yourself in the mirror, make a recording of you saying it and set it as your ringtone, anything to remind you that you are important and you don't have to have others tell you for it to be true. Be kind to yourself, love yourself, value yourself--you are worth it.
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Luckily, many colleges offer a number of ways to take part in campus and community life, without forcing you to dedicate all of your time to these organizations. Here are a few ideas!
1. Look into Housing and Dining.
Many first-year students start off college life in residence halls, and the Housing & Dining network throughout campus often provides multiple opportunities for students throughout the year. Many buildings have student community councils that work to create policies and events that make the dorms a more welcoming home for residents. Becoming a community assistant (or the students who work the desks at the front of many halls) is another easy way to have a consistent, well-paying job only minutes away from your room.
If you really enjoyed your housing experience, consider applying to be an RLA, or, if the school offers it, help to teach the first-year community. You'll get the chance to help support new and returning students over the year, and many of these positions also cover major costs like board and meal plans.
2. Pay attention to campus postings.
This advice is more obvious, but it still gets overlooked a fair amount. Even on a busy day, taking the time to stop around campus and look at the flyers advertising clubs and events can draw your attention to something that you never would've noticed otherwise. Students on many campuses also chalk the sidewalk to catch students' attention while they walk to class. Just make sure that the event you're interested in hasn't taken place already!
3. Find common interest groups.
One way to find friends and get involved is to focus on what you're passionate about. Have you always loved to sing? Do you enjoy playing video games? Is photography your favorite past-time? Have you always wanted to join Greek life? Whatever you love devoting your time to, chances are there are organizations around school who are focused on the same thing. Check the student life section of your university's website, or stop by a student organization fair at the beginning of the semester.
4. Join an intramural sports team.
If you're the athletic type, you've probably heard of intramural sports. Often offered through the Rec Center or the residence halls, most colleges often offer various indoor and outdoor sports to take part in throughout the year. Personal favorite? Mini golf.
5. Work on a cause that you care about.
Whether you're passionate about a political group, a social cause, or a religion, working with people who value beliefs similar to yours can be an easy way to meet people, get a better sense of your own identity, and promote causes that are important to you. Look into getting involved with College Democrats, Republicans, or whatever party that you belong to. Find a club that supports social issues, from women's rights to protecting the environment. If you're religious, look into student organizations based on your faith.
6. Join a club related to your major.
Even if you're not entirely sure what you want to do after school, finding a club or organization related to your field of studies can benefit you long after you leave the classroom. From career-related workshops to conferences to professional connections, these groups have a lot to boast.
7. Get an on-campus job.
If you have the time, need to work, or want to save a few extra dollars, finding a job on or near campus is a time-effective way to build up your bank account and gain work experience. Check in your residence hall (see #1), at local businesses and offices, or make an appointment with your school's career center.
8. Volunteer.
When you're caught up in school life, it can be hard to think about the bigger picture. Volunteering your time to people (or animals/an environment) in need puts things in perspective and allows you to feel good while making a positive difference. Check if your college town has a volunteer page, or look up local organizations requesting help.
Best of luck this year! Get out, and get busy.
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