Okay ladies... I don't know about you, but I love the holidays because it means fabulous outfit after bomb outfit, after sweet-Jesus-did-you-just-get-off-the-runway outfit. But it's hard to do on a budget! These are some of my Dewey Musts for the Christmas clothing that you can mix and match to your own hearts desire!
PS: I am pretty clothes confident, so if you read some of this and go "yikes! no one wears that", just go “Ah, Dewey is wearing it somewhere looking like an idiot too,” but with confidence of course!
1. Plaid Pants
Okay, you're thinking what the heck when would I wear these, and I'm telling you look at how Miss Ellen Degeneres does it! You could rock this with a sweater that has some Christmas festivities to it. If you get the plaid thats navy and green, you could keep it subtle for the top, but then throw in a fire red lip! Also, have you ever seen your butt in plaid pants? Trust me. You clearly haven't if you don't own a pair by now. Let's just say that's why Catholic schools make the girls wear loose plaid skirts instead of pants to keep the alter boys in check.
2. Winter Patterned Sweater
Everyone goes ugly when it comes to Christmas sweaters, this is your moment! Be the attractive one! Pick out a classic Christmas pattern, snowflakes, reindeers, trees, something out of a cabin in the woods. Even better, make it fuzzy, guys will be all over you trying to "stay warm" Play the field ladies, this holiday is yours. Also, this would look swaggy with those plaid pants we were talking about.
3. The Burgundy Lip
Be dark and mysterious this Christmas, find those mistletoes ladies! You can go red, sure... but why be like every other basic homie for the holidays? Yes, I am the queen of being basic, but I pick dark and twisty over the "overdone".
4. Black Tights
WHO WANTS TO SHAVE THEIR LEGS?! Yeah, I couldn't hear you because the answer is a resounding no. Find some black tights that have a tint of sheerness to them to give the hubba-hubbas a little something, but cover those white things you call legs! You can still wear the dress and skirts and look winter appropriate. Lets face it, you can't afford a spray tan for every holiday party and plus its balls cold. Cover up gosh darn it!
5. Velvet Dress - Red or Green
Okay queen of being basic is stepping out again… Don’t go black. “Dew, what?! Why?” I’ll tell you why! Is there a man on your arm? Is there a man showing you off? Are the answers to this no? Would you like the answers to be yes? Okay, then enough of this “Little Black Dress” nonsense. Imagine this. You’re young, you’re single, and you’re hot and this one Christmas party is known for having some hot bachelors, but also old friends. You decide this is the night that you feel hot and single, embrace it. The door opens, you place your coat on the coat rack and bam, you're in a red little velvet number while everyone else and their mothers are in black with red lips (#basic). Guess who the home-dogs are going to be looking at now. Especially if there is a sheerness to your tights because even though you’re hot, you are no hoe and you remembered that no man is worth hypothermia.
6. The Cheetah Coat
I don’t know if this is necessarily a Christmas Must, but it most definitely is a Dewey Must. No one is going to look at you and think, “That fool is wear a cheetah coat for the holidays.” No. They are going to say “YAASSS GURL! You go, do you, work it.” I’m telling you best damn purchase of my whole damn life.
7. Something Silver
Doesn’t matter what it is, but look like tinsel for a night.
Things it could be:
-silver dress
-silver eyeliner
-silver glitter eyeshadow
-silver belt (but make sure it is thin, we aren’t trying to bring back Sharpay from HSM)
-silver clutch (for that red number you are going to whip out, or that burgundy lip you are going to have to reapply later from all the mistletoe action)
8. Fur Shall/Scarf Thing
Okay, have you guys ever seen these things?! I swear you put it on and it is instant sass and power. I literally think Beyoncé was wearing one of these when she wrote, “Run the World (Girls)”. You just throw it around your back and then over the creases of your elbows. So I mean, you basically have to stand with your arms crossed all night but you have an excuse because you have to hold the fur. Maybe this is the last and final Christmas party, you're done, and don’t want to go to another one. You put this friend on and you look closed off all night because, hey man, its all about the fur. You’re welcome.
9. Be a Ring Queen
You are going to be shaking a lot of hands throughout the night so make sure your ring game is up to par. Mix and match the silver and gold, have some with stones, stack them, go crazy! But don’t throw the cute single guys off and leave that ring finger naked! Hey, we are young adults here; everyone is secretly on the hunt and buzzed off the Eggnog. Please, please though make sure your nails are done. Get firm handshakes ladies, we are strong.
10. Sequins
Again just like the silver, get a sequin piece! I would avoid a tank top or tank top dress because those sequins can really do a number on your armpits and you don’t want to look like those dudes “who can’t put their arms down because they are too big.” My personal favorite is a skirt, my sister just pulled this off and she was quite the stunner! (For the single men reading this, she is single and 23 if you’re interested. She is also short so you can always feel big and strong around her, I think that’s important, right?)
Another good one though is the loose fitting blazer that is full blown sequins. Make sure to go bust a move in that thing and blind everyone, also videotape it!
11. Turtle neck
When the mistletoes get too much… You smell what I’m stepping in? It’s the burgundy lips.
12. Hair Stuff - The Shinier the Better
Don’t worry I didn’t forget about your precious hair. I just saved it for last because there are so many different things that you can put in there!
-headbands: I say go sparkly but that’s just my opinion, but mine is best so take it
-barrette: those fancy clips that have all kinds of different rhinestones in them are dope
-extreme bobby pins: the ones that have a big something on the end like a star or what not
-metal hair tie: those gold or silver things that you put on top of your pony tail holder
TBH: hair is not my thing, I really don’t even brush mine but I thought I would try.
Above all ladies, have fun and be safe! If you look great, you will feel great. Or just eat a cookie, those make you feel great too.
