On my bad days it's hard for me to go throughout my day.
On my bad days it might seem like I don't care about my friends and family, but I really do. It hurts when they mistake my natural instinct to be by myself as ignoring them and dislike. I don't dislike you at all, but for the sake of not wanting you to worry about me I withdraw myself.
On my bad days asking me if something is wrong will only make things worse. I know you're concerned and you think you're helping, but saying "what's wrong" is quiet possibly the last thing I want to hear right now. And I will get angry with myself for making other people worry about me. If something seems off but I'm not having a meltdown in front of you, I will be okay. Just let me work through it.
On my bad days, I don't even want to get out of bed. Even though I know leaving the house and walking around is going to make me feel better sometimes I just can't bring myself to do what I know will be good for me.
On my bad days I will feel like the biggest bother to everyone. I feel like I shouldn't have sent that text, smiled at that stranger or even walked another person. I will tell myself I'm a bother and a burden. I know I'm not and I can't possibly irritate someone by just being in the same room as them, but that voice in my head will tell me differently.
On my bad days the most minor things can seem like the end of the world. I missed that red light, I'll be late for work. I missed one assignment, I will fail the class. My brain will slam into panic mode at the smallest things.
On my bad days, I feel like everyone can tell there is something wrong with me. The little voice in my head tells me everyone is looking at me because they know.
But most importantly, on my bad days I need to remember that tomorrow is a new day. I can wake up and possibly feel better. I need to remember I have friends that I love, and family that cares for me.
On my bad days, it's not the end of the world. It's going to be okay.
