Finding yourself.
Everyone talks about it, but does anyone know what it actually means? Not too long ago, to me, it seemed like trying to find the missing piece or pieces to the jigsaw puzzle when you don't even know what the picture is. Author and playwright George Bernard Shaw said, "Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself." And I guess that helps the analogy become a bit more clear: You don't need to know what the big picture is because you're designing it yourself as you go.
So, I've liked that idea a little bit better. But then I come to the fork in the road where I'm the tortured artist, the writer whose hand is frozen in writer's block for centuries in experience years (kind of like dog years, but an integral unit of time in the life of life experiences, not dogs). You carve and chisel, carve and chisel away at the block, but you just can't find the face, the heart inside. You run and run and run 'til you've run out of wind, but you can't seem to find your pace.
They tell you life is a journey, but where to?
They also say you're in for a dead end or two if you don't find out soon.
What I've personally found is that sometimes you just need to stop for a minute, take a deep breath, and look around. Step back from the clay or the easel for a space, and go do something else. Get lost. Get dirty. Break some rules. Make some new ones. Lose yourself. Because honestly, the first time I really started to feel like I had found myself was right after I had really lost. So get out there. Don't worry about what's missing in your life, what's next, where you're going. Live your life. Enjoy it. Experiment. Make mistakes. Learn. Grow.
You'll never know (yourself) until you let go.
