Who doesn’t want to be apart of a healthy relationship whether romantic/sexual or strictly platonic? I think it’s safe to say that virtually no one desires an unhealthy relationship.
I’ve never started a conversation with, “I’m vulnerable, hurt me,” but somehow, someway it almost always seems to happen. Often times I find myself trying to figure out what’s wrong with me, as if I single handedly sabotaged my own chance at “happiness”.
For a while, I took full responsibility/blame for how things played out in failed relationship attempts. It wasn’t until recently that I finally realized why I seemed to be digging myself this emotional grave; I am a little broken.
It was like an internal light switch had been turned. I was broken.
It wasn’t easy to admit this, even to myself. I mean who wants to be broken? Not me. I want to be happy and whole, but instead I forced myself to deal with the hole I’d discovered within.
I could write books about my brokenness (I actually plan to write at least one), but for now I’ll try to keep it short and simple. Broken people sometimes have the tendency to break other people. Go figure.
That’s why I made a promise to myself to figure out what parts of me need fixin’. This requires me to keep it real with myself, even when it’s uncomfortable. Furthermore, it makes it my responsibility to keep it real with others.
If I could give you any advice at all, it would be to be upfront, honest and considerate with others as well as with yourself.
Nobody’s perfect. I feel like when we all admit and accept this we can start the healing process. In my brokenness I’ve been able to admit that I am full of imperfections, but instead being ashamed of this I’ve decided to embrace it ,because after all, they are what make me Me.
I have also vowed to work on fixing those parts of me so that I am able to have healthy relationships with others. No one should have to deal with my mess because I’m too afraid to address it myself.
If you’re a little broken like me, do me a favor. Do not project your hurt and confusion onto other people, they don’t deserve it. Don’t let it consume you either, because regardless of what you’ve been through, you deserve to be happy.
I’m just trying to grow and become the best version of me that I can be. Apart of that includes me helping others along the way. I hope I could shed some light on someone's situation and add some sort of perspective.
