I've been working pretty hard on my school’s literary magazine for a while now. I started off as a technology team member, and then a productions manager, and have graduated to becoming an Editor-in-Chief alongside one of my closest friends. In the midst of all of the passion I have had in this endeavor, I have but one simple observation to expand on this week. It has not been easy.

As an underclassman, I greatly misjudged the amount of effort and care it takes to be making the decisions of the magazine. I say that, and I have help! One of the tougher things to handle though, in the midst of all of the craziness that is a staff room, is keeping the relationships between your closest friends and your duties to the magazine separate.

Over the course of time, we've gotten to know these people intimately and dearly. We value each and every single one of their opinions and we feel as though we really try to make them see that. But that makes it infinitely more difficult to have to be the ones to mediate what actually goes on. It's difficult to listen to these people who you care about tell you their visions for everything, and then have to be the same person to tell them that you can't quite execute those visions to their desire.

For our literary magazine staff, we have built not only quality magazines and fundraising events, but we've also cultivated lasting relationships and strong bonds that are so very near and dear to my heart. But we are ultimately the bad guys in the equation. As Editors, we cannot satisfy the desires of everyone. At this stage in the process, I've come to terms with the fact that I'm essentially the bane of some of my staff’s existence.

But our job isn't a stroll down candy cane lane. We have to listen to suggestions from everybody, and make sure that everything comes together as beautifully as possible. Our job is to talk to people with very specific concerns and make sure that we can fix them in a way that doesn't bother another person's set concerns. We also are the ones who try with all our might to make everyone's job easier, even if it makes our own more difficult.

And when the staff needs it, we are here to reaffirm that they are doing a good job. We tell them that they are all very needed and appreciated, even on the days where WE want to hear that. Though I know nothing of what mothering feels like, I imagine the frustration is similar. I've had other people who see me get worked up ask me why I stay. Why do I choose to continue being here, despite how frustrating and underappreciated I can feel at times?

And the truth is, that I stay because I genuinely love being part of this team. I loved it the moment I walked into the room three years ago and learned how to make a magazine spread for the very first time. I know that sometimes my staff can hate me, but I love them far more than they really know. And despite how angry and frustrated I get within the staff room, being part of something special makes you special. Sometimes people need to take a step back and see things from the other side of the Editor's table.